Trials
by Schauspielerinnen
Summary: If Fllay had survived, life would not be a bed of roses. Accused of handing N-Jammer technology to the EA, she is on trial for her life, while Kira is on one to decide whether he loves Lacus or her. F x K x L
1. Prologue

**A/N: I thought it would be interesting if there was a story where Fllay lives but Kira chooses Lacus. So here it is! Of course, if I get really good reasons to make it KxF, I might.**

**Disclaimer: What makes you think a _kid_ owns Gundam Seed?**

**Prologue**

Fllay lay on her bed thinking. She lived in ORB for now, where her father's house still stood despite the shocking damage ORB had received during the war.

She couldn't stop thinking of what she had been through. She had nearly been killed twice over the past month in an hour. She relived the moment she realised she was going to have to pay for all her wrongdoings, for using Kira so relentlessly.

* * *

_The Gundam she knew Commander Le Crueset piloted aimed at the Dominion's escape shuttle and fired. She couldn't believe he had done that. To her, he was like her father, and it blinded her to his real intentions. Nonetheless, she trusted Kira to save her… again._

_It dawned on her that she had always been depending on Kira during her time on the Archangel. He had never failed her-no, he had never failed them, all of them on the ship. He kept them alive. He kept _her_ alive._

_She was right. Kira made it in time, blocking the deadly beam with the shield of his new Gundam. It looked very much like the Strike, so much that Fllay never doubted who was piloting it. She stared out of the window, hoping, knowing it was wishful thinking, but still hoping, that she could see Kira. She knew he saw her. She just knew it._

_Then, a strange feeling passed through her. A shout came from the front, from those who were paying more attention to the battle. One of the weird individual pods was directly above them, preparing to fire. She knew that Kira wouldn't make it this time._

_She realised then that this was retribution. She had escaped punishment the first time, but her just deserts would not leave her alone until she had paid for all her crimes. She was ready, though. She wasn't about to deny that she was in the wrong._

_But Kira was faster than she had thought. His shield swept over the escape pod as easily as swinging an umbrella over a head. Once again, she found herself in his debt. She would be eternally grateful to him. Right then, she thought that if she didn't apologise to Kira face to face, she would not rest in peace for the rest of her days._

_This gave her resolve, and when the escape pod docked with the Archangel, she ran to the bridge, intending to talk to Kira immediately. Unfortunately, they were still in a middle of a battle, and she found herself sent away._

_She was too tired to protest, even when the entire crew of the Dominion ended up in Archangel's cells with her. She knew it was only a precaution. The captain was preoccupied, and the rest of the crew was just following the rules. It didn't matter. She would soon get to see Kira again.

* * *

_

She didn't realise how wrong she was then. She hardly glimpsed Kira before ORB officers arrested them and interrogated them. They wanted to know how the EA got their hands on nuclear technology. And the rest of the crew identified her as the one who handed it to Azreal.

Soon, she would be on trial for her life. She hadn't had the details as to who was to judge, who was her defence attorney, and all that. She only had been allowed to return to her old home, nothing else. A maid brought her daily necessities. She was not allowed to step out of the yard.

Often, she wondered why nobody else had been to see her, but she guessed that they had been forbidden as well. She would give anything to talk to Kira, even if it was only for half a minute.

"Miss Fllay?" came a muffled voice from the other side of the door. "You have permitted visitors."

Fllay's heart leapt. Here she was thinking about Kira and visitors and now… "Who is it, Nel?"

"I don't know." The voice seemed further away now, as though its owner was heading off. "You'll have to see for yourself."

Fllay had already swung herself out of bed before the sentence was finished. She hastily slipped on her shoes and took the stairs outside two at a time. Upon reaching the living room, and finding no one there, she thought Nelia had lied to her to provoke her. Then she heard voices in the kitchen and realised she jumped to a conclusion.

Anxiously, she hoped that it was Kira, but it could easily be Sai, or Miriallia, or even that hated tough-girl Cagalli, though she hoped not. She paused at the door, took a deep breath, and went in.

**A/N: Okay, this is the prologue. Here's something important: KxF fans, if you give me too much trouble, then I'll for sure make it KxL and vice versa. So you get the picture. And this story may only be updated after some time, as I'm currently preoccupied with my Seventh Tower fanfic. Please review!**


	2. Attorney

**A/N: Well, I finally update. And firstly, I have to apologise to everyone. When I said "trouble" I meant uncivilized flaming such as "This fic sucks because Fllay's alive" or any of the variations thereof. Also, don't think that reverse psychology works on me because I don't know when you're using it. Meaning you want me to do KxF and so you tell me "KxF sucks Kira belongs with Lacus and if you don't write it this way nobody will read your fic" I'm not stupid, I'll know when you're using reverse psychology on me, and guess what? It doesn't work! So ****Kayell, if that's what you're trying, don't bother.**

**Also, to Violet: Not to be mean or anything, but I don't really know you, so yeah, it isn't really a valid reason. I don't do requests. I can be your friend, but still, that's not a reason for me to fulfill requests. If I did that I'd have to fulfill all my friends' requests, wouldn't I?**

**Disclaimer: You know the usual. I don't own this show, 'cause if I did, who's writing this?**

**Chapter**** 2-Attorney**

Fllay entered the kitchen. The first thing she saw was a flash of light yellow hair as the Head Representative turned to look at her. Her heart was ready to sink. At least, until she saw the Representative's escort.

She didn't notice him at first, because Cagalli's bright yellow hair had overshadowed his brown. But as soon as she saw, she knew. Her heart almost stopped, her pulse slowing so much she could have passed for a corpse, before restarting with enough force to crush her lungs. She tried to pull out a chair and sit down while projecting a clam image, but her excitement betrayed her. Her movements were jerky.

"Tea again?" asked Nelia, and without waiting for an answer placed the cup and saucer in front of Fllay. Fllay absently nodded in thanks, her eyes still on Kira.

Kira hadn't even looked at her in the eye once since she came in. He was deliberately talking only to Cagalli. Fllay felt the same feeling she had the last time she saw Kira so happy with the other girl. Or was it?

Cagalli ended Kira's rant with a pat on his head. "Cool it, little brother. Right now, we're here for a reason." The last part was not only directed to Kira, but to Fllay as well. Fllay's temper flared up again, but was suddenly quelled when she recalled what Cagalli had just said.

"Wait… he's your _brother_?" asked Fllay. Now that she knew it, she could see the resemblances between the two.

"Yes," answered Cagalli shortly. "But the reason we're here is to hear your side of the story. Tell us, in short, why you passed nuclear technology to the Earth Alliance."

Fllay glanced at Kira, who was determined to avoid meeting her eyes as much as possible. With a heart rapidly plummeting through the floorboards, she told the twins the main points of her story.

"I was taken prisoner by ZAFT, as you know. Commander Rau Le Crueset gave me the information in a disc, and he told me as soon as it reaches the Earth Alliance it would end the war. I thought… I thought it was the beginning of a peace treaty. I never knew it was nuclear technology." Fllay's eyes began tearing up as she thought about all those she might have been responsible for killing.

"It's not your fault-" began Cagalli when Kira suddenly interrupted.

"We have to go, Cagalli. They'll notice you're not around sooner or later. And I can't stay as your bodyguard for long. We found out what we came here for." Kira's eyes were focused outside the house. It was a ruse, although a convincing one. He couldn't bear to stay around Fllay when she was crying, knowing that he couldn't help her.

"Alright," agreed Cagalli. She got up, saying, "I guess your lawyer would be around to see you soon. Until then, please just stay in the house."

Fllay nodded and watched as the two left, watched as Kira didn't look back even once. She left her cold, untouched tea on the table and went back into her room, trying, and failing, to ignore Nelia's penetrating stare.

* * *

Kira started the car and headed back to the Parliament House in silence. Cagalli tried to fill it in with some conversation, hoping that it would ease her brother's tension.

"I don't know how to appoint a judge for this case, Kira. If it happens to be a Coordinator, and if she is convicted, the Atlantic Federation will complain that the verdict was biased. If it happens to be a Natural, and if she is acquitted, PLANTs will say that she was let off easy."

If Kira even heard her, he gave no sign, his entire mind on the road ahead of him.

"So I guess I'll have to do it myself then," continued Cagalli.

That broke Kira's stupor. "What?" he asked, his eyes wide.

"I said, I'll have to judge this case myself. There's still too much tension and rivalry between PLANTs and the Atlantic Federation to trust them not to complain about the verdict. People are still angry about the actions taken during war time. And since I'm practically half a Coordinator myself, I guess I'll just do it. Don't worry, I won't be nasty on her."

"Cagalli, you don't have to do this for me," said Kira, the expression on his face unreadable.

"Who's doing it for you? I'm just going to be a fair judge, that's all."

Kira subsided back into his seat. If he disapproved of his sister's plans, he didn't show it. Cagalli continued talking as though Kira's sudden outburst never happened.

"And I guess if you want Fllay to win the case, you'll need a lawyer who isn't prejudiced, who is persuasive and logical, and can convince even Coordinators that she is innocent," Cagalli rattled off the list of requirements, hoping that Kira would get the hint. He didn't, and Cagalli sighed. This was going to hint him. Hard.

"I think the best person to do this would be Lacus." Cagalli braced herself for the explosion.

One second passed. Two seconds. Three-

"WHAT?!?" screeched Kira. "You must be joking! How could you ask Lacus…"

"It's for the best, Kira!" replied Cagalli, covering her ears. "And keep your eyes on the road."

Kira obeyed, though he was still mad. "Do you think Lacus is going to agree to it? Do you think I'M going to agree to it?" he amended after some thought.

"Whether you agree to it or not isn't the main thing here. Whether Lacus agrees to it, and I suspect she will, is what matters."

"But still…" Kira trailed off, seeing Cagalli's point.

"If Fllay is to be proven innocent to everyone, it will be necessary. We know, but PLANTs need to know and believe the truth. Stop worrying, Kira," said Cagalli in reply to Kira's dumbfounded expression. "Lacus can handle it."

Kira deigned not to answer, his mind on the pink princess. He scowled, already thinking of her reaction to the request, and somehow, the guilty feeling he got while visiting Fllay multiplied a thousand times.

**A/N: Whopee! Conflict! Man, I'm evil. And also, people who flame me anonymously to get me to do a certain pairing will not get their review deleted, but it will be ignored. Further reviews from said person will be ignored unless it happens to be an apology or anything like that. So think thrice before flaming uncivilly. Especially people like Kayell.**

**Well, I won't be updating so soon, because I have other stories whose readers will kill me if I do not update. So I'm taking it in turns to update. This will be updated after **_**Sing to the Dawn**_** is, and after**_** Mirroring the Light**_


	3. Heart to Heart

A/N: Yes, I know I have taken just about forever to get this up

**A/N: Yes, I know I have taken just about forever to get this up. Yes, it's my fault. And yes, you have my full permission to flame me for this.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own Gundam Seed.**

**Chapter 3 – Heart to Heart**

It was always noisy at Reverend Malchio's. _Always_. There would always be kids screaming, running, playing. And there would always be Lacus making sure they were playing safe.

Usually, Kira would be contributing to the noise. It didn't usually bother him. But today, he just had to have peace and quiet to think. So alone he stood on the beach, under the warm afternoon sun.

He wouldn't be able to just let Lacus defend Fllay like that, not when she had nothing to do with her. Yet he couldn't just let Fllay be put on trial with a small chance of being acquitted when she was innocent. He was trapped between two equally undesirable options and he hated it.

Behind him, the sand made a soft shushing noise, and Kira whirled around to see Athrun making his way down to join him. That was both good and bad. Good, because Athrun had always been smarter than him, even when they were just children at the same school on the moon. He might be able to see the solution that Kira had missed. Bad, because this meant that Cagalli had told Athrun about it before he did, and Cagalli would never be able to express what was going on through his mind.

Athrun stopped right beside Kira, who had turned back to continue gazing out at the sea. Athrun could tell with a glance that Kira was feeling sour and probably wouldn't have felt like talking to begin with. Either way, Kira was glad. It was bound to be awkward to discuss such a matter already; he didn't want to make it worse by starting off cheerful.

They both waited for the other to start, and so neither did. Athrun realised that they would never get it over with at this rate and, groaning in horror inwardly, opened his mouth to speak. "So," he said quietly that if Kira hadn't been a Coordinator, he wouldn't have heard, "Cagalli tells me that you have a problem concerning your ex."

Kira replied with a "Huh" that might or might not be him agreeing with that.

"And you don't agree with letting Lacus help her," continued Athrun.

There was no reply this time round, but the frown told Athrun as much. Now to wheedle the reason behind it out of Kira, which was not going to be an easy task, judging by his response. Best to do it quick and get over with it.

"Mind telling me why?"

For the first time, Kira turned to look at Athrun full in the face. Athrun had known Kira long enough, and could see the conflict in his amethyst eyes. It told him of the struggle Kira was dealing with inside, and how it was slowly tearing him apart. Athrun met Kira's eyes and patiently waited for him to speak.

"I don't think it's fair to involve Lacus in this," Kira said finally. "She has nothing to do with Fllay. Honestly speaking, she shouldn't have to help her at all. Fllay wasn't very nice to Lacus on the Archangel, I admit it. But I don't blame her for that."

"Then neither will Lacus," said Athrun firmly. "You should know her well enough by now that she is far too forgiving to bear a grudge against anyone, and definitely not someone who has meant so much to you."

"That's my second point. Wouldn't it hurt Lacus if she were to find that I still care for Fllay so much?" asked Kira. "I'm not saying that I necessarily do," he said hurriedly as he caught sight of the change in Athrun's expression, "but if Lacus were to think so, would she be upset?"

"I can't answer you, Kira," replied Athrun honestly, his ordinarily-serious voice more so now than ever. "You have to sort this out yourself with both Lacus and Fllay. You'll have to decide between them one day, and it's really better not to drag it out. I can't help you in this because I don't know Fllay, and I'm not you, in any case. And ultimately, it's up to Lacus to make the decision. You can trust her to make the right one. Please just stop worrying so much. You'll making all of us overly concerned."

"Alright," Kira agreed out loud, but privately, he doubted that he could. In any case, now it was more a question of who could survive the stress and anxiety for the next few weeks.

* * *

Inside the orphanage, Lacus was teaching the children to paint. Cagalli observed with faint interest as Lacus calmly and patiently taught the children how to mix paints to get new colours. The more she watched, the more she was convinced that Lacus would be the only one who could end the discontent between the two armies.

"Lacus, can I speak with you for a moment?" she asked abruptly, interrupting Lacus advising a young girl against mixing black with yellow.

Lacus excused herself gracefully and promised that she'd be right back before following Cagalli with a confused expression to an temporarily unoccupied room.

Cagalli closed the door behind her. She had no doubt Kira would be extremely displeased with her afterwards, maybe angry enough to not speak to her for a week. Well, tough luck. Since he wasn't taking the initiative to solve his problem, she was going to do it for him. Personally, she didn't like Fllay either, but for both Kira and ORB she was going to have to put her personal problems aside.

"Lacus," she began, "as you know, the girl Fllay from the Dominion, the one who claimed to have the 'key to ending the war' which actually contained N-Jammer Canceller technology, she has been accused of handing this technology to the Earth Alliance. She didn't know it contained this sort of information, of course, but now the ZAFT and PLANTs are saying that she caused them to be bombarded with nuclear bombs. They're demanding that she be put on trial as a war criminal."

Lacus looked perplexed. "But she was not aware it contained N-Jammer Canceller technology. How could she have known she would be putting the PLANTs in danger?"

"We know that, but can we prove it? The man who gave her the information to pass on the EA is dead. And even if he wasn't, would he be willing to testify to Fllay's innocence?"

"Kira must be quite torn over this." Lacus' blue eyes were full of concern. "That's why he's out there, isn't he? To give himself some space to think."

"Yes." Cagalli didn't know what else to say. The pink princess always seemed to know what people were trying to say without them actually saying it. Besides, she had never been very good at being tactful.

"What do you wish me to do?"

Cagalli blinked in surprise. Lacus had known from the start that something would be asked of her, and yet she wasn't offended or begrudging, or even reluctant. Cagalli was beginning to see why she had been so popular and influential in the PLANTs. "I want you to help her defend herself in court. I know it sounds unreasonable to ask this of you, but you're both resourceful and influential. You may be the only one who can save her. So please, would you do it?"

"Yes," replied Lacus without hesitation.

"But I want you to know something first. Fllay and Kira used to be together," Cagalli said, leaving the less pleasant details out. Lacus would be hurt enough as it is. "He might still care for her in that way. Are you willing to risk losing Kira?" At this, she wanted to shut her eyes so she wouldn't have to see the other girl's reaction. But she couldn't. If she couldn't even put up a strong façade for such a trivial matter, was she still worthy to be Chief Representative of ORB?

Again, the songstress surprised Cagalli. "Whether or not Kira will stay by my side is secondary. Yes, part of why I want to do this is so that I will never have to see the pain he tries so hard to hide again. Yes, Kira might choose her over me, in the end. But nevertheless, I cannot just stand by and watch an innocent life taken away. Not while I can do something to help prevent it. So yes, I will still do it."

The two icons of their respective nations locked eyes. One a daughter of a lion, the respect for her born of her fierce determination in battle and the love she harboured for her people. The other a peacemaker, but no less determined or loving, who reaches out to the hearts of the world with her songs. Together, they were going to end the final tension between the Atlantic Federation and the PLANTs.

**A/N: This is not an ideal chapter, but it will have to do, mainly because I have forgotten what I have originally planned out for this chapter. I had to revisit old chapters to remember how this story went, and I was rather surprised by the fluidity of my old writing style compared to this one. It doesn't flow as smoothly. At least to me, it seems rather "chunky" and disorganised. It's not a favourite.**

**Anyway, flame away. I'm serious, I deserve it. When was the last update? Last year? So anyway, if you don't want to flame, you can still leave a review.**


	4. Nostalgia & Grief

**A/N: So it hasn't been a year yet, but still quite a long time since my last update. And probably my last update in a few weeks, since my exams are nearing and I have to study, as well as a killer camp I need to plan for, a celebration for something… all school-related of course. No wonder suicide rates for students are so high. Oh, and the words in italics are pretty idiot-proof, but just in case you aren't familiar with this they're Fllay's thoughts.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own GSD, etc etc.**

**Chapter 4 – Nostalgia & Grief**

Another day. Another visitor.

Sometimes Fllay wondered if she'd ever get the chance to be the visitor again, and not the visit-ee. Sometimes, it seemed so read she couldn't doubt it. Other times, she couldn't see it at all.

This just so happened to be neither of those days. It was merely one of those times nostalgia was so strong it was tangible.

Fllay didn't know who it was, but nostalgia made her pick out her favourite pink dress, complete with bows and ruffles, and matching shoes. Just in case it was someone from Heliopolis.

The door to the reception room opened under her hand, and immediately Fllay was greeted by something small, pink, bouncy and saying "haro!" every two seconds. She raised her hands instinctively to protect her face, but the robot just bounced away without hitting her.

By the large framed painting of her father (the thought of him still sent fresh stabs of pain), Fllay glimpsed a waterfall of more pink as the robot moved away and let her see. She made her way towards it, even as it turned to reveal a pair of familiar blue eyes.

It didn't shock her that the two of them were dressed exactly the same way they both were when they'd first met. It was only fitting; they were meeting once again.

"You have a very beautiful home."

It wasn't in the script, but Fllay didn't start. "Thank you. This room was designed by my late mother. She loved white."

_Just playing the part of the hostess…_

"I am sorry for your loss." It could have been true emotion in her eyes. After all, she'd lost her mother earlier on and her father in the war too.

… _we're both orphans…_

"Thank you." Fllay didn't want her pity, it made her feel indebted.

The smooth hiss of the door sliding open broke into the silence following her statement. Nelia – all smiling, all warm – brought in tea and biscuits.

_Daddy's favourites._

Fllay invited her guest to sit. These were manners she'd learned for entering society, but never put into practice.

She filled the two fragile cups with tea, then offered the plate of biscuits to her guest. She watched, transfixed, as the biscuit was dipped into the tea before being nibbled.

_He used to do that too…_

"Thank you very much." The phrase had been repeated so many times it took Fllay this long to register it. Her eyes travelled from the tea to the face.

"It's my pleasure." A thin layer of ice-cold politeness separated them. The question was, what would happen when it was broken?

"Miss Allster, I'm here regarding the trial. I'm sorry there is no better way for me to do this, but for me to help you, I need you to recount to me what exactly happened to you in the last few months of the war. Why have you handed N-Jammer Canceller technology to the Alliance?"

For a moment, all she sees is that masked commander who sounded so much like her father.

"Miss Allster?"

"Fllay," she replied automatically. "I'm Fllay. If you're going to be spending some quality time with me, you should start getting used to calling me by my first name."

* * *

Somewhere in the middle of her story, she began pacing. She never mentioned Kira if she didn't have to, and she didn't say how the masked commander sounded like her father.

Somehow, by the end of her story, she'd ended where they'd started: at the portrait of her father.

_Did I love you too much?_

A faint rustling sound as her – lawyer – stood up. The carpet shushing. Clacking as the carpet ended and tiles began. Silence as she joined her.

… _she loves Kira too…_

Fllay'd stopped keeping up with the celebrity gossip ever since Heliopolis was destroyed. But Miriallia visited, and she knew more about what happened on the Archangel than she did.

… _I can't compete with her…_

After all, she wasn't the one who manipulated Kira and wanted him to die. She wasn't the one who made him return time and time again to the battlefield he hated. In so many ways, pink was better than red.

_It isn't the colour of fresh blood._

"Do you know," she said suddenly, reaching out to touch the edge of the picture frame, "that he sounded just like my father? The commander with the mask, I mean." She turned to look at the other girl.

Shock, surprise, understanding. Nothing else.

She pressed her fingers against the frame. "it's a selfish reason for helping him wipe out people, I know. But is loving someone so much wrong?"

_Is loving him now too late?_

"That can never be. I only wish everyone loves their parents as much as you do."

She's always got something good to say. Fllay wanted to laugh. She withdrew her hand and let it fall limply to her side. "Still, it wouldn't be a good idea for everyone to just commit genocide though."

"It isn't your fault."

_No point in fighting with her…_

"I truly hope you can prove it." Her life depended on it.

"Well then, I am sorry to leave so soon, but I have another appointment regarding the trial. May I take my leave?"

The veneer of politeness is back. "Of course, I wouldn't want to make you late for it." She smiled her brightest smile, the kind that rich men's daughters use during fanciful dinners.

"Well then, there is one last thing to do." A deep breath, then the guest stuck out her hand.

Fllay stared at her, not full comprehending.

"We didn't do this too well the last time. I thought maybe…" she smiled. "Hi. I'm Lacus. How are you?"

… _won't run away again…_

"Fllay." She smiled back, a little uncertain, and took her hand. "I'm fine, thank you."

* * *

He didn't break his promise.

It would be a battle he couldn't fight, but he sent a guardian angel nonetheless.

_But did he really forgive me?_

She didn't know. She wandered up the stairs. Sometime in the last well the house had gotten to feel more like a prison than the ZAFT ship ever would. It was just too empty for two.

Fllay was used to company. Over the war, she had become isolated. It was only now she realised how much she craved company. How much she wanted to be the ordinary, if slightly superficial girl she used to be.

"Nelia? Are you up here?" she called out.

… _don't know why I want her now…_

She always saw Nelia as another sign of her imprisonment. That one brief contact with the outside world let her see other wise. Nelia, too, was human.

"I'm in your room, young miss." Nelia's voice sounded along the corridors, warm and welcoming. Fllay made a beeline for it. She reached out and pushed her slightly open room door wide open.

Nelia was sitting on the edge of Fllay's bed, folding clothes. She was neither fat nor thing, but somewhere in between. Fllay thought she was in her forties. With her kind brown eyes and experienced movements, she looked like someone who spent the best years of her life being a doting nurse to children. It was just like ORB to treat her well enough, even now.

Fllay sat down at the head of her bed, removed her shoes and hugged her knees, looking exactly like a child who had run to her nurse after her mother gave her a scolding. She stayed silent, watching Nelia's rhythmic folding like it was the most fascinating thing in the world.

_Maybe I am still a child…_

"Something be troubling you, I reckon, miss." Nelia angled her head to look at Fllay without breaking rhythm. Fold, flap, fold, flap, lay it down, pick up the next one.

… _written all over my face…_

Fllay didn't answer. It wasn't a question, and Nelia pressed no further.

Some more time passed. "Nelia?" Fllay finally spoke. "Can I ask you something?"

A warm smile, and a "You know I wouldn't say no" was what she got for an answer.

"Let's say a girl, maybe like the one on the ten o'clock show" – Fllay had no idea what it was about – "gets together with a guy who likes her because she wants something from him, and she puts him through a lot of" – what word could she use here? – "tough situations which are potentially fatal. Would he forgive her after everything?"

"Hmm…" Nelia considered. "There's no right answer to this one, young miss, but a lot of it would depend on how strongly he feels for her, and how much she wants it."

Fllay's heart sped up. "what about whether she deserves it? Doesn't that matter?"

"Mistress, have you not heard the saying 'Love is blind'?" Nelia picked up the stack of neatly folded nightdresses and stood up.

Fllay's heart didn't slow. "What if you were the boy? Would you forgive the girl?"

No answer from the woman sticking her head into the wardrobe, and Fllay's heart sank. Nelia emerged unburdened and sat back down again. She reached out to the redhead, who was looking very miserable. "Come here."

Fllay crawled over. Nelia held up a blouse. "Pretend you are a thread. You're stuck inside with so many other threads, but this doesn't bother you because this has been all you know."

Fllay nodded, her curiosity aroused. "Now pretend your closest neighbour has frayed and now takes up more space than usual. You feel angry, indignant. You can wait for your owner to remove it, but then you'd never see your neighbour again. Or you can help your neighbour with it, and take it that things have not changed at all. Which will you choose?"

"But a human is different," Fllay protested. "And he has a choice. I may not be around much longer, if the court finds me guilty."

"What's so different? Compared to the whole universe that we've barely begun to explore, we're just mere threads hanging below others' notice." Nelia wrapped her arms around Fllay and stroked her hair. "If he really does love you, he'll forgive you. Believe me."

_That's all that I hope for._

**A/N: Another crappy chapter has been brought to you by it's equally crappy author! Okay, I changed my mind about the story. It may have a tragic ending, may have an **_**acceptable**_** one, depending on how I like it and how well reviewers are good at convincing me one is better. And like I said, this will be the last review in a while. Ever since I got my third stripe (for my rank) my life just got about ten times more complicated. (Reviews will make me feel better)**


	5. Stress

**A/N:** **Right. Now. Er. SORRRRRRY! What was the problem, you ask? The problem was actually that I didn't really know how courtroom procedures go, because I would never ever want to be a lawyer, so I didn't really know how to progress the fic. And then there's also a problem of my watching SEED years and years ago when I was a kid, and you know how memory can be faulty sometimes? Add that to me being a dumb kid who hardly understood what was going on… Anyway, that killed all my motivation.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam SEED. Yeah.**

**Chapter 5 – Stress**

Representative Athha gave a cold look to the ZAFT officer sitting in front of her. "I must apologise, Colonel, but I'm afraid that I cannot entertain your request. ORB is a neutral country, and I will not compromise that. Now, I have another appointment. I will see you another time, Colonel."

The stiff-looking man on the other side of her desk wore a barely concealed mutinous look, but he got the message. He stood up, and the assistants standing by the door escorted him out of the office.

Once the door slammed shut, Cagalli dropped her facade and rubbed her eyes. As though she didn't have enough problems to deal with regarding Onogoro, now the ZAFT and Atlantic Federation were pestering her with regards to the trial. Were Cagalli the same girl that she was before Onogoro went up in flames, she would have screamed into their faces that it was just a trial, just one unimportant, insignificant foot soldier, and sent them packing.

But just like she wasn't that same girl, she didn't do anything of that sort, only endured and hinted subtly that she was at the end of her patience.

The sound of the door opening once more made Cagalli sit up straight and remove her hands from her face, ready to face another nitpicking politician with a stern look on her face. But now, it was just Athrun. She relaxed and gave a half-hearted wave that belied how exhausted she was.

Athrun approached his love cautiously, correctly reading that she was having a bad day. It wasn't because he was afraid or anything like that. He loved everything about the girl he met on that island, even the temper that rivalled a lightning storm, and he was the only one who could bring her out of it. No, the reason he was cautious was because he happened to be the bearer of bad news for the day.

He would really love to let someone else handle it, but so many leaders of ORB died on that day.

Athrun ignored the chair and desk and just went to Cagalli's side, kneeling down to look at her directly. "Are you alright?"

Cagalli sighed and nodded. "Yeah, but it seems like it'll never end. How're things on your side?"

Athrun blanched. He wasn't really expecting to broach that topic soon.

Cagalli tilted her head to contemplate his silence, even more striking now that the room was empty. "Athrun?"

The sixteen-year-old sighed. "Not too good, actually. We've received reports that citizens have started demonstrating outside the Allsters'."

Athrun also happened to be in charge of security in a lot of areas, Fllay's house being one of them.

"O-ok, but we expected this, didn't we? So what's the issue?" Cagalli wore a puzzled look that Athrun, in better times, would have taken the time to appreciate, because it was rather cute.

"Not just Coordinators, but Naturals too," added Athrun. That was actually the bomb. "Most of them blame her for Onogoro. We can't drive them away with force, because most of them are civilians. Your orders?"

The Representative was silent. Now it was Athrun's turn to prompt her. "Cagalli?"

Cagalli's reply was just a blank stare directed at him, though he knew that she wasn't really seeing him. She was seeing that day her father died, sending her off with his hopes. That fateful day just wouldn't stop haunting all of them, and it probably would never until they saw an end to this.

Athrun placed his hands on her shoulders to shake her gently. "Princess?"

It worked like a charm. Cagalli came back and frowned at Athrun. "I told you to stop calling me that!" Unbeknownst to her, Athrun really did like how she reacted to it. It reminded him so much of her usual. She chewed her lip. "I suppose we have to post more guards then. Make sure that none of the protesters actually get hurt though, I don't need more casualty reports on my desk." Her expression returned to sad and nostalgic all over again as she looked at the pile of paperwork waiting for her. "Father would never have been like this."

She looked so down that Athrun couldn't help himself. He pulled her into an embrace, surprising her somewhat, and stroked the back of her head. "Don't worry, we'll pull through this somehow."

It took her a second, given her exhaustion, but she returned the embrace. "I know." And for that few precious moments, she felt truly relieved for Athrun. For knowing that she loved him, and him alone. _If only Kira had it this easy._

* * *

Fllay didn't really want to go out that day, nor on any day, and anyway where would she go even if she could? But Nelia had insisted, in her usual calm and unwavering fashion, that her mistress needed to do something for once, and so here she was, holding a basket and a mat.

_"I don't want to go out," insisted Fllay as she curled up on her bed._

_"Miss, you cannot stay cooped up in the house all the time. It's not good for you," reiterated Nelia patiently._

_"I don't care," sulked Fllay. She knew she was being childish, but she didn't particularly feel like facing the outside world. Because it was a reminder of everything she had done since she had last lived in this house._

_Nelia didn't say anything, only left the room and Fllay. The young girl heard footsteps heading down the stairs, and even knowing that it was childish and vindictive, thought,_ Good. Now she'll leave me alone.

_Far from that, Fllay's thoughts were suddenly interrupted by footsteps coming _up_ the stairs. Fllay rolled over and sat up in time to see Nelia enter holding a full glass of water, which was promptly thrust into her hand._

_"Here," the maid said, looking kind and motherly and not at all tyrannical. "Is it heavy?"_

_Fllay frowned, what kind of question was that? "No."_

_"What if I asked you to hold it for a day? Or two?"_

_Fllay paused to think of an answer that would win her the argument. She found none before Nelia began speaking again._

_"Stress," she pointed at the glass," is like the glass full of water. You can hold it for a while, but if you hold it for too long, your wrist will get tired. You have to let go sometimes." She took the glass from Fllay and left without another word, certain that her young charge would follow now._

And so this was how Fllay ended up carrying a basket full of food and a folded mat. Nelia had decided to hold a picnic out on the front lawn, given Fllay's current confinement. Thankfully, the garden was a pretty place, like the rest of the house, and if she tried, she could pretend that guards weren't standing outside the gate.

Nelia came out of the kitchen holding a pitcher of orange juice. Fllay could see condensation dripping off it as Nelia took the basket from her, leaving the mat, and nudged her in the direction of the front door. Fllay's hand hesitated as it closed around the doorknob; with Nelia right behind her, she somehow managed to turn it and give herself the illusion of freedom. Once again, she hesitated, but Nelia nudged her again, and she stepped out for the house for the first time since she was confined.

Fllay couldn't help feeling that the air she breathed was different somehow, fresher and cleaner. Even though it was no different from usual in actuality. She reached up, still holding the mat, and stretched, feeling a small smile break out. That reaction startled her; Was it really that long since she had last smiled for real?

_Of course_, a small voice in her mind whispered, and she unwittingly ran through the events that happened since she was last happy.

A small cough from behind brought her back to the present. "Oh," she breathed. She was still blocking the doorway. Fllay quickly ran forward and allowed Nelia out into the sun. The food-laden nurse smiled at her, and she found herself smiling back despite herself.

Fllay felt younger as she ran forward and unfolded the mat, smoothing it out on the grass. The sun was shining, there were a few clouds in the sky that made sunscreen and umbrellas unnecessary, and there was a cool breeze making her shirt flap around her waist. All in all, a perfect day for a picnic. She even forgot about the guards at the gate as she looked at the well-tended flower beds. _It's pretty_, she couldn't help thinking.

Nelia set the basket and pitcher on the mat and settled down herself, watching Fllay take in her surroundings and smiling to herself. Years and years of caring for petulant children had made her somewhat an expert at dealing with them, and she was sure that this excursion would do this little one good. She reached into the basket and pulled out a sandwich, handing it to the girl who was just sitting down.

Fllay took the sandwich and unwrapped it before it occurred to her to thank Nelia. She looked up but the words froze on her tongue. She never had to thank anyone before, much less a servant, but she felt bad not to. Which made her feel strange, because this was the first time she felt that way. Her gaze flickered back to the sandwich. _Say it_, she urged herself. But she couldn't stop herself from feeling awkward.

"It's alright, miss," Nelia said soothingly, misinterpreting Fllay's sudden twitch as anxiety from being outside. She took another sandwich out of the basket for herself, but didn't unwrap it, just laid it in her lap.

Fllay's tongue unfroze all of a sudden. "Thank you," she murmured shyly, and bit into the sandwich so that she had a reason to be looking down. Her cheeks felt warm but at the same time, she felt proud of herself for taking that first step. She wondered if Kira felt this way all the time. She could remember him thanking the mechanics on the Archangel often, and Miriallia and everyone else too. _Is this normal? _She wondered vaguely.

If Fllay had looked up at that moment, she would have seen the nurse's smile grow wider still. But she didn't.

Nelia reached over for the pitcher of orange juice with one hand, and reached into the basket with another. Realising that she had forgotten to pack cups, she withdrew both hands and said, "Oh dear, I forgot the cups. Excuse me for a second, dear." She handed the sandwich on her lap to Fllay and pushed herself up to her feet. She dusted herself off and headed back into the house.

Fllay nodded a second too late. As she watched Nelia get up, it dawned on her that the woman was getting on in years. That thought made her more grateful to the nurse still. As she unwrapped the second sandwich, she began to look around once again, feeling a tiny bit bored already. That was when she noticed that there were actually quite a lot of people outside the fence.

A lot of people holding signs written in red, actually. And they didn't look friendly. Fllay cast a nervous look at the guards. She couldn't see their expressions from the back, but their posture implied that they were rather bored. And lax. They weren't bothered by the crowd at all, so she shouldn't be either… right?

Now that she really looked, the fact that there were a few faces pressed up against the fence unnerved her. She looked away, not wanting to make eye contact with anyone that hostile, lest they be spurred into action. Her effort was wasted as a rock came flying over the fence.

Fllay jumped in fright. Even though it missed by quite a wide margin, even though it landed a few feet in front of her, she was definitely spooked. Her wide eyes darted back to the fence, where more than a few faces were twisted and snarling. "Murdering witch!" one of them, a young man who couldn't be more than twenty, shouted.

The harsh words made Fllay flinch, and she refused to look at any of them in the eye. More rocks and stones came flying over the fence, and Fllay backed away in fear, tears pricking at the corners of her eyes. It seemed that the whole crowd was flinging whatever they could get their hands on now, and some of them had pretty good aim. One smashed the pitcher of juice, sending a spray of glass shards in her direction. More of them began shouting obscenities coupled with accusations of "murderer" and "traitor". Fllay scrambled backwards faster still.

Then a pair of hands were pulling her up and dragging her back into the house. She turned to see Nelia, her face grave and serious. Nelia was pulling her back to tiles and walls and positioning herself to protect her ward from the brunt of the assault. Before Nelia slammed the door shut, though, Fllay turned back once and saw the guards attempting to up the mob.

"Are you alright?" demanded Nelia, though gently. Fllay nodded, and found that she was trembling. Nelia looked like she didn't believe that, and checked her over for injuries. She clucked her tongue sympathetically. "You have a few bruises, but nothing too serious. I'm sorry you had to go through that, miss, I had no idea that they would be so depraved as to attack a young lady."

Fllay was shaking still, and as Nelia guided her to the sofa she berated herself. _Of course_ she was hated, _of course_ people wanted her dead. As Nelia left to get the first-aid supplies, she reprimanded herself for forgetting, even for a moment, that she was branded a criminal to a large proportion of people on this planet and beyond. Tears of fear and anger clouded her vision, and spilled out of her eyes onto her cheeks.

Nelia returned with a first-aid box, as well as tissues, correctly guessing that Fllay would need them. She silently handed the tissues to Fllay and knelt down to work on the bruises dotting her legs. Fllay wiped her face and pressed her lips together to keep from crying out as Nelia rubbed the bruises. _These are nothing_, she told herself.

"I, er, left the basket outside," Fllay said, her voice cracking. "They broke the pitcher, though." She grabbed another tissue and blew her nose.

Nelia straightened. "It's alright, miss. I'll get them. You should go and change." She put the salve away and shut the box.

Fllay wanted to stop Nelia, to tell her that it was too dangerous, before she remembered that they were angry at _her_ and not Nelia. She looked down instead. Her shorts were dotted with pieces of egg and splatters of mayonnaise from the sandwich she dropped. She bit back another sob as she stumbled up onto her feet and up the stairs.

Nelia called out to her again as she was making her way up. "Oh, and miss, pack your things as well."

Fllay stopped and turned around. Nelia was at the foot of the stairs. "Why?"

The reply was short and logical. "Because you can no longer stay here."

**A/N: Right. Again, I'M SORRY! I really am. But that aside, I feel that over these years I've grown and fixed my writing style a bit more, so it's not really a waste of time or anything. Think of it as a sabbatical, if you want. I feel that I've changed a lot over this time, and I'm much more pleased with what I've written. For example, that Asucaga scene that filled the first part of the chapter. The me that wrote chapter one could never have achieved that.**

**That aside, I really do need a consultant or whatever you want to call yourself to help me out, because I really can't remember SEED all that well. Also, I would like to know what you guys think about my writing now, since I feel that it's very different from before. I still want to improve more, so reviews are very much appreciated, even if you're just saying "your updates need to be more consistent". Please?**


	6. Revelations

**A/N: I am lost. And in a precarious position. I knew that the lack of planning was going to come back and bite me in the butt someday. I probably should rewrite the old chapters. Yeah. I changed my pen-name too.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Seed.**

**Chapter 6 – Revelations**

"Mr Zala, you have a message from Dr Marie. She called at approximately thirteen hundred hours, when you were conducting a security check at the Justice Hall," said the secretary sitting outside his temporary office. She held out a piece of paper with both hands, bowing slightly in respect as she did.

Athrun rubbed his temples. "Thanks, Rene. I'll take a look at it." He took the note and entered his office.

What with all the mess and chaos going on in ORB right now, his office was simply one of the partitioned sections of a larger room in the Parliament House. Too much of the ORB military and political system had to be rebuilt, and in the meantime, he had this: a room large enough to fit a desk and chair.

Athrun also happened to put in charge of the security surrounding Fllay Allster and the Justice Hall that the trial was about to take place in, on top of his bodyguard duties to the Representative. Or rather, he and Kira were supposed to split these responsibilities between them. It just so happened that Kira suddenly appeared to be very concerned with his sister's present safety.

_Yeah, right_, he couldn't help thinking. _More like he's trying to avoid his issues._

Athrun took a seat at his desk and unfolded the note. His eyes scanned over the words once, twice and in a flash he was picking up the phone to make a call.

As he listened to the ringing sound from the earpiece, he chewed his lip and prayed that the recipient would pick up.

A click, and a "Hello" was heard before Athrun launched into speech.

"Kira, we have a problem. Dr Marie called."

A momentary silence ensued before Kira replied. "Reverend Malchio's, one hour from now." Surprisingly, there was no trace of indecisiveness in his voice.

"Roger." Athrun hung up, grabbed his car keys, and left his office once more.

With the amount of time he was spending in his office, it was no wonder he didn't mind that it was too cramped.

* * *

It didn't take long for Fllay to pack everything she needed. Some clothes and her basic necessities were thrown into a bag that could be easily carried if the need to run arose. She had fought the urge to giggle as she stared at the contents of her bag. It was far less that what she was used to, but no matter how hard she tried to think of anything else she wanted to bring, she kept drawing a blank.

She had huddled on the bed for hours, clutching the bag like some kind of security blanket, before finally falling into a fitful sleep.

She was eventually awakened by a hand shaking her shoulder firmly. She could feel muscle aches in her arms, a result of sleeping too long with her arms around an unwieldy bag. Eyes heavy with sleep, she peered at the one who shook her awake.

"Miss, it's time to go now," Nelia said quietly. She took the bag away from the girl and shouldered it. Then she held out a hand to help Fllay up.

Fllay accepted the outstretched hand with her own; with her other hand, she rubbed the sleep out of her eyes. Her bare feet touched the floor and she flinched at how cold it was. How long had she been asleep?

"What time is it?" Her voice asked, sounding cracked and dry even to herself. _Why is that so_, she wondered.

Oh, of course. She had cried herself to sleep, after all.

"About three in the morning," Nelia replied quietly. She released Fllay's hand and began rummaging around for her shoes. She pulled out a pair of well-worn sneakers and set them at Fllay's feet.

Fllay groggily felt around for her shoes and slid her feet into them. Nelia then pulled her onto her feet and hustled her out of the door. "What's going on?" she asked, adrenaline waking her up as she sensed the urgency behind the nurse's moves.

"Your entourage has arrived," Nelia replied, her hands firm on the young girl's shoulders. Fllay stumbled a little as she went down the stairs. Nelia noticed it and eased her grip.

"Here she is," Nelia called softly as they came down the stairs. Fllay caught sight of three men, dressed in dark colours, standing and waiting in the living room. Some of them were wearing infrared goggles, and she felt a brief touch of fear as she realised how serious those guards were. "Where do you want her to go?"

One of the men, a boy not much older than her, actually, stepped forward. He was wearing the infrared goggles too, and Fllay's eyes were drawn to his unique blue hair. "Out by the back, madam," he said respectfully.

"Yes. Come, this way," she ushered Fllay out to the back, while the girl stared and tried to figure out where she had seen that boy before.

Exiting the house, Fllay shivered in the cold night air. Outside, two vans were waiting, with their windows tinted black. More men clustered around the open doors of one of the vans. Now that she was paying attention, she noticed the bulges in their clothing that revealed that they were carrying concealed firearms. Again, she felt fear run down her spine.

Nelia handed her the bag. Her bag. "Here, miss, into the van now," she coaxed.

Fllay stared uncomprehendingly, her hands automatically going to the straps of the bag. "Aren't you coming with me?" she blurted, her voice loud in the night.

Nelia winced and the men stiffened, their hands going under jackets to their guns. "No, dear, I have to stay here. We're going to act as though you still live here. Hopefully it'll draw some of them away from where you'll actually be."

"But what about me?" she insisted, equally loudly. Fllay knew, logically, that she should be keeping her voice down and going along obediently, but somehow, her sleep-deprived brain couldn't imagine what she would do without Nelia. Nelia, who was the only one to be nice to her ever since the war ended. Nelia, who knew what she needed even before she herself knew it.

"Shush," Nelia whispered, looking apologetically at the guards. "You'll be looked after perfectly well where you're going, love, so don't worry. I'll see you again when this is all over," she promised.

Not exactly understanding, but feeling that it would be prudent to stop arguing, Fllay swallowed her protests and allowed Nelia to prod her into the back of the van. Immediately she felt warmer, away from the wind, and she turned to see the boy with blue hair follow her into the van. The last thing she saw before the doors shut was Nelia, waving and smiling gently.

Then it was gone, and Fllay felt the van move, taking her away from the place she had only just begun to feel was home once more.

It wasn't dark in the van, for there was a lamp. Fllay started every time the van ran over a bump or rut. She hung on to her bag, feeling lost and confused.

The boy in the van with her removed his infrared goggles, revealing emerald eyes, and Fllay suddenly remembered where she had seen him. He was Kira's friend, the one with him at the final battle, and she had seen him accompanying Cagalli on the news, sometimes.

He was also most definitely a Coordinator. Who would have every reason to hate her.

Fllay must have visibly tensed, for the boy asked her if she was alright. She nodded shakily, hoping that he would attribute her quivering to the vibrations from the van. "Where are we going?" she asked, her voice sounding small and insignificant to herself.

"We're going to a military repair station first, as a precaution," he explained. "We'll change vehicles there, and also give you a disguise. After what happened yesterday, Kira and I decided that we should be more cautious about how we do things. Don't worry, we'll do our best to make sure you get to your destination unharmed."

Fllay nodded. Her heart had leaped when he mentioned Kira's name, she was elated to know that he had a hand in her life. "Will… Will Kira be meeting us?" she asked.

"He should be, if things go well," the boy replied.

Fllay nodded again, unable to stop herself from smiling slightly. "Thank you, er- I'm sorry, I don't know your name," she said quietly.

The boy stared at her in a way that made her self-conscious. Was he thinking that it was below him to give her his name? She suddenly realised that her hair was disheveled, her clothes rumpled, and she looked indecent overall. Was he thinking that he shouldn't be fraternising with a criminal?

"It's Athrun," he replied shortly. Fllay was so relieved that she didn't get a cutting comment in reply, she exhaled audibly.

"Thank you, Athrun," she repeated. He was a nice person. A good friend for Kira, definitely.

_Unlike you,_ a small part of her mind hissed. Fllay flinched visibly. _Shut up,_ she told that part as she relaxed into a more comfortable position.

"You should get some sleep," Athrun added. "It's a long ride."

"I will," replied Fllay. "Will you… Will you wake me if anything happens?"

"Yeah," Athrun agreed. He watched as she stretched out along the bench, using her bag as a pillow. He turned his gaze out to the window, though with the tinted windows, he couldn't see anything. He hoped that if anything, the rioters would fixate on the decoy van. He may have verbally reassured Fllay that she was safe, but then again, even the best-laid plans have been known to fail.

Athrun fidgeted a little as he looked at the sleeping girl opposite him. She didn't look like a mass murderer, and Kira and Cagalli confirmed that the N-Jammer transfer was unintentional on her part. But for every accident, there were repercussions. And when those repercussions were as wide as they were now, people always needed someone to blame. It just happened that this scapegoat was a fifteen year-old girl.

Too many of his people had died when the nuclear bombs were unleashed on the PLANTs. Over the war, he had learned that no one, no single side was at fault. He didn't hate the girl in front of his eyes for that, didn't think she was at fault, but thousands, maybe millions of others did. And he held no sway over their opinions.

The only thing that he might possibly dislike her for, on his own, was entirely based on what Cagalli told him. About Fllay manipulating Kira to stay in the war, making him fight against Athrun. And how miserable he could be about the war whenever something unpleasant happened. But it all turned out well in the end, and it was also not for him to judge her. If Kira was alright with her, then so was he.

Athrun sighed and swung his legs up onto the bench, leaning his back against the partition that separated them from the driver. He tilted his head back until it touched the wall. They were in no danger at the moment, and he doubted that Fllay could do him any harm even if he shoved a gun into her hand and told her to shoot. In the meantime, the one who really needed to catch up on sleep was him.

* * *

Fllay awoke to the sound of shouting. Not hostile shouting, merely people who wanted to have themselves heard over noise. She sat up, stretching her arms above her head. She felt something slide and looked down. It was a blanket. Someone must have tucked it around her while she was sleeping.

It was incredibly noisy, and Fllay couldn't help wondering how she had slept through all this noise. The sound of metal clanking, of hissing, of mechanics shouting wove a discordant harmony. From this, she gathered that they had arrived at the military repair station Athrun had talked about. Speaking of which, where was he anyway?

Fllay wandered out of the back of the van. Around her, mechanics rushed and hollered and completely ignored her. Mobile Armours and Suits lined up against a wall, each with its own catwalk and tending mechanics. She took a moment to get her bearings, before she spotted Athrun talking to a mechanic holding a clipboard. She headed for him, weaving around all the mechanics who were more preoccupied with their job than a lone girl.

"Ah, you're awake," Athrun said as he saw her coming. "Are you ready to set off?"

Fllay hesitated for a moment. "Has Kira arrived?" she asked.

Now it was Athrun's turn to hesitate. "He was here earlier," he said carefully. "And he looked in on you when you were sleeping. He told me not to wake you, though, said you needed the sleep." Seeing the hurt on Fllay's face, he quickly added, "He was the one who got that blanket. Sorry I didn't think of it earlier, I didn't think that it was that cold out."

"Is he still here?"

"No, he set off already," answered Athrun. He had told Kira that Fllay would want to see him when she awoke, but he had insisted that this was for the best. _I don't know what to say to her_ were his exact words, in fact. Though Athrun didn't think that she needed to hear it.

"I see," Fllay said quietly. She would have really liked to see Kira, but knowing that he cared that much made her feel better nonetheless.

"Anyway," Athrun said abruptly, "now that you're awake, you should get changed. Lieutenant Mizuno!" He called out.

A tall woman detached from the crowd and strode towards them. She wore a military uniform with epaulettes bearing the rank of a second lieutenant, and she was carrying something in her arms. "About time," she snapped. "I was wondering if our Sleeping Beauty here would ever wake up." She threw the bundle she carried at Fllay roughly.

Fllay started, but caught it clumsily. Close up, the lieutenant wasn't really tall, in fact she was about the same height as Fllay, but her ramrod straight posture made her look taller than she really was. "Come, girl, this way." She strode off without looking to see if Fllay followed.

The younger girl hesitantly took a step forward, then turned back to look pleadingly at Athrun. He shrugged. "She's like that. Don't worry, she means you no harm. I'll go get your stuff. It's still in the van, right?" He made a shooing motion with his hand. "Go on."

Fllay nodded, and threaded through the crowd after Lieutenant Mizuno, dodging errant carts and absent-minded workers. She realised that the lieutenant walked at a cracking pace, and that the few seconds she spent talking to Athrun had allowed the (scary) older woman to disappear into the crowd. Panic hit her as she sought to catch a glimpse of black hair on top of perfect posture, craning her neck to look over the mass of metal and people.

Suddenly she felt a hand grab her shoulder and Fllay jumped. She turned slowly to meet the cold eyes of Lieutenant Mizuno. Without a word the woman released her and continued walking. Fllay scurried after her, wondering what exactly went on behind those unforgiving eyes.

The lieutenant suddenly stopped and pointed. "The washroom is just up ahead. I'll come and get you in fifteen minutes. Don't go anywhere else."

"Yes, ma'am," Fllay nodded. She hurried off in the direction that the lieutenant had indicated. She pushed open the door and entered a small, utilitarian military washroom, with only two cubicles and one mirror.

Fllay stopped as she caught sight of herself in the mirror. She was a mess. No wonder the lieutenant had thought so little of her. Fllay picked up her pace once more. She was suddenly struck by the desire to change out of her rumpled clothes and look respectable once more. She would have to do something about her hair too.

The bundle she carried apparently consisted of civilian clothes. Nothing too flashy, a plain skirt and shirt, with a denim jacket to be worn over it. There was also, strangely enough, a black wig. Strange, but it made complete sense. Given the lengths that ORB was going to, she wouldn't have been surprised to learn that her jacket was bulletproof.

Not that she didn't appreciate the effort. Fllay quickly changed into the issued clothing. At least, she thought she was quick, but when she exited the cubicle, the lieutenant was already there leaning against the washbasin. And she had already changed out of her uniform.

"I'm-I'm sorry," Fllay stuttered. She hadn't realised that she had taken that long, and she didn't particularly want to raise the lieutenant's ire. "I didn't realise that my fifteen minutes were up."

"You still have six minutes, girl," snapped the lieutenant. She lifted her hand and threw something at Fllay. A comb. "Put on the wig, and listen to me while you're at it."

Fllay decided not to answer to that, since whatever she said seemed to piss the lieutenant off anyway. She ran the comb through her hair and adjusted the wig until it looked natural, while the lieutenant spoke.

"Alright, listen carefully. When we leave this hangar, you'll be 'Mizuno Akiko'. If anyone asks, you're my little sister. You're to keep up this pretense until your trial. You will address me as 'sister' or 'Sakiya', and not by my rank. You can ditch your disguise indoors, but in the event that you must leave, you will be a flawless Akiko, _is that understood_?"

The last three words were nearly shouted, and Fllay, attempting to wash her face, missed and splashed water all over the mirror. "Ye-yes, Lieutenant," she forced out.

"And for pity's sake, stop acting so guilty," the lieutenant snapped with a contemptuously look. "How do you expect to convince the jury that you're innocent if you can't even act like you believe it yourself?"

Fllay's eyes widened. "I'm-."

"If you dare to apologise now, my opinion of you can and will sink further," the lieutenant cut her off. "I would have taught my sister to be confident and natural, and you jolly well act like that starting from now."

Fllay thought that any sister that the lieutenant could possibly have would probably have grown up socially crippled with such an overbearing presence in her life, but she said nothing. She merely returned the comb to the lieutenant and followed her new sister out and through the hangar.

Fllay's gaze was drawn to it immediately. In a hangar with plain grey Mobile Suits and the marginally more colourful Mobile Armours, the bright red car stood out. She spotted Athrun standing by the driver's door with someone else, both in civilian clothes that made them stand out in contrast to the plain uniforms of the soldiers and mechanics.

"Sir, she's ready," Lieutenant Mizuno called out as they neared the car.

Both males looked up. The other man – boy, actually, Fllay didn't think he was much older than she was – lit up. "Oh, so we're all here. I want to drive," he declared cheerfully.

"Oh no you don't, this is _my_ car," Athrun shot back. He quickly slid into the driver's seat before the other boy could protest. "Lieutenant Mizuno, could I trouble you to handle him?"

"Yes, sir," she replied. "Kenji, shut up and get into the car. NOW!"

"Then I want to ride shotgun," he bargained.

"Shut up and get in, damn brat," she said, before opening the other front door and sliding into the seat. Fllay couldn't help being amused a tiny bit at their exchange. That was, until the lieutenant rolled down the window and said, "Akiko, hurry up and get in too."

Fllay started again. She really needed to pay more attention, everything was catching her by surprise these days. "Yes, ma- I mean, Sis- no, Sakiya."

The lieutenant snorted. "Get used to it, girl."

Fllay obeyed. She opened the door and sat down, closing it after her. She was pleased to see that her belongings were sitting on the floor by her feet. It made her feel safer, somewhat. She didn't look up as the other boy – Kenji – slid in across her. The car started up, the whole contraption vibrating under her fingers. Athrun signalled for the mechanics to open the door.

"So, Akiko eh?" Kenji said excitedly. "We're going to be very good friends for the next couple of weeks."

Fllay looked at him close up for the first time. He too had black hair and clear eyes. From that she surmised that he was probably playing another one of her relatives. "I see," she said, though she didn't really see.

"Did my scary sister frighten you?" he teased as the car sped out onto the highway.

Fllay couldn't decide if he was acting, or if they were really related. On one hand, the physical similarities were all there. On the other, a wig and contacts would easily take care of half of those, and their personalities were so… divergent. She cast a glance at the front of the car.

"Yeah, those two are really related in real life," Athrun said, meeting her eyes in the rearview mirror and correctly reading the question behind them. "Lieutenant Mizuno Sakiya and Sergeant Mizuno Kenji will be sticking to you like superglue for the next two weeks, so get used to them." He rolled his eyes.

"Kindly keep your eyes on the road, _sir_," Kenji drawled, voice dripping with sarcasm.

Athrun rolled his eyes again. Deliberately, Fllay was sure. She allowed the tiniest hints of a smile to touch her face this time. Even if she didn't have Nelia with her, she was sure that she would have a few interesting days ahead. And that would be enough to tide her over.

* * *

It was a few hours later, when her scalp began itching from the wig, that Fllay finally ventured to ask where they were heading. Kenji had long fallen asleep, his head lolling back on the headrest. Sakiya… Fllay couldn't see her face, but she doubted a woman as uptight as her would ever sleep when she wasn't supposed to.

"We're going to the orphanage," Athrun replied. He had been driving the last few hours, and Fllay had to admire his stamina. Even if it had been granted to him in the form of altered genes.

The word cut at Fllay. _Orphanage_. A place for orphans. A place for people with no father or mother. A place for people like her. She nodded, lowering her head in mortification. Her eyes burned.

"I wouldn't have sent you there if it were up to me, but Dr Marie said that the sun and the sea would be good for you," Athrun added, looking in the mirror to assess her reaction. Dr Marie had said she might be resistant to the idea when she talked to him on the phone.

"Dr Marie?" Fllay asked. She was being sent to an orphanage on the recommendation of a doctor who had never seen her in person?

"Yes, you don't know her?" Athrun asked curiously. "Wasn't she staying with you?"

Part of it clicked in Fllay's mind. "You mean Nelia?" she gasped. "But how could she be a doctor? Why wasn't I told?"

"Dr Cornelia Marie," interrupted Sakiya stiffly, "is one of the best psychologists in ORB. She retired years ago. The higher-ups must have called her back in for your case."

It made sense, but Fllay somehow couldn't connect the image of the sweet, humble Nelia with a white-coated, arrogantly professional psychologist. "But-," she protested.

"Yeah, that sounds just like her alright." Fllay turned to see Kenji, head still tilted back. He cracked open one eye to look at her. "It'll be just like her to turn down all the defense ministers begging her to come back and take a look at some of our mentally disturbed soldiers, and cave in when a little girl is involved. That old bat." He laughed sardonically.

"Kenji! Do not talk about Dr Marie like that!" commanded Sakiya. Fllay could see her glaring at Kenji in the rearview mirror, but the boy didn't seem disturbed.

"As you wish, your Highness," he replied sarcastically, and subsided back into silence. Athrun chuckled and pressed his foot down on the accelerator.

Fllay sank back into her seat, deep in thought. She hadn't asked about Nelia's life before she met her, and she hadn't bothered to think about it either. Further proof of her social inadequacies, she thought as she brooded over Nelia's recommendations with regards to her new residence. She had been to wrapped up in her own issues to care.

* * *

A few hours later, in the late afternoon, Fllay finally began to see the sea out of the window. Her scalp itched, but resisted the urge to scratch and mess up the wig. She was also hungry, having not eaten anything more than a granola bar for more than twenty-four hours. The bar was actually provided by Sakiya, who had disapprovingly handed it over after Fllay's stomach growled conspicuously.

The last time she had anything resembling a proper meal was at the disastrous picnic, Fllay recalled, twisting the remains of the wrapper in her hands nervously. The afternoon sunlight glittered off the water, which was a sight that she hadn't seen since her Archangel days.

Her Archangel days. Fllay turned her eyes from the window. She wasn't exactly proud of what she did in those days, but it was too late to change them. Now all she could do was to make amends and start over, if possible. Why was it so difficult?

_Probably because manipulating people is so much easier than forging actual relationships_, she thought. She spent a lot of the trip planning what she would say to Kira in her head, and reworking her lines over and over until she was satisfied with them. But even then, she wasn't really happy with them. Because how could she find the words to express what she really felt?

She enjoyed the silence that reigned for most of the trip, actually. Kenji went back to sleep. Sakiya ignored her. Athrun concentrated on driving. Fllay stuffed the wrapper into her pocket and took a sip of water from a bottle (which was also provided by Sakiya; the woman clearly belonged in the military), watching a pair of seagulls wheel across the water. She couldn't hear them calling, but she was sure they were making quite the racket out there.

She didn't quite notice when the car finally slowed. When it finally jerked to a halt, she broke out of her reverie and focused on the building in front of her.

It had a simple wooden structure. Nothing like her previous residence, really, but it looked cosy. Not at all like the orphanage she envisioned earlier. Somehow she always had the impression that orphanages were cold cement buildings in which the orphans were miserable, but the children laughing and playing tag outside seemed to suggest otherwise.

But Fllay wasn't really concerned with all those details at the moment. Her attention was entirely focused on the brown-haired boy speaking with the pink-haired girl in front of the building.

Unsteadily, she opened the car door and tottered out, clutching the metal frame for support. As though in a dream, she made her way forward towards Kira. _Finally,_ she thought. _He looks so sad and serious. Why?_

She hadn't taken more than a few steps towards him when a hand latched around her wrist in an iron grip. Startled and affronted, she looked at its owner and met with the enraged eyes of Mizuno Sakiya. "Are you daft?" she hissed. "You're leaving yourself totally open."

Fllay hadn't even seen her get out of the car. But when she took a second look, she saw that Sakiya's hand was in her bag, no doubt clenched around the handle of a pistol or something similar. She cast a cursory look at her surroundings. Kenji had also gotten out of the car and had a hand inside his jacket, no longer carefree or smiling. Only Athrun was completely relaxed, leisurely turning off the engine and removing the key from the ignition as though there was no threat whatsoever.

"It's alright, Miss Mizuno," Kira spoke up for the first time. Fllay fixed her eyes on him, but he seemed to be looking at Sakiya, and Sakiya alone. "The coast is clear."

Sakiya didn't seem convinced. "Yes, sir," she said, albeit reluctantly. She released the younger girl's wrist, but Fllay, past the impulse, didn't start off again. Instead, she merely continued studying Kira from beside the lieutenant.

_He seems thinner too_, Fllay remarked silently. She didn't like it, not at all. It implied that he was still stressed, and she didn't want that. She always thought that once the war was over, Kira would be much better, but it looked like she was wrong. _Why?_

The pink-haired girl approached her. Fllay's eyes refocused from Kira to her. "Come on in, Miss Fllay, we've been waiting for you," Lacus said warmly.

Fllay wasn't used to hearing herself being addressed as "Miss" by anyone the same age as she was, so she found that she had no reply to Lacus' welcome. She dumbly let Lacus guide her into the building, turning her head to look at Kira as she passed. He avoided meeting her eyes and instead joined Athrun a few feet behind. _Does he not recognise me because of the wig?_ Fllay thought inanely. _No, it's not possible. Something's wrong._

Inside the building, a blind man sat at a table. At least, he acted as though he was blind. "This is Reverend Malchio," Lacus introduced cheerfully. "He's in charge of the orphanage. Reverend, this is Miss Fllay Allster."

The reverend nodded and held out a hand. Fllay noted that his face was turned slightly to her left, not exactly fixed on her, which confirmed her guess that he was unable to see. "A pleasure to have you staying with us, Miss Allster. Our place is unfortunately not as large as you'd be used to, but we hope you'll bear with it."

Fllay automatically took his hand, and for the moment, focused on the man in front of her instead of the boy behind. "The pleasure's all mine, Reverend," she said without thinking about it. Her mind was busy running through thoughts that bordered more on _Does he really not mind having me stay here with all the kids?_

Reverend Malchio gripped her hand firmly for a moment, then released it. "Well then, do take a seat," he offered. "It wouldn't be hospitable of me to have you standing all the time you're here."

Fllay pulled out the chair that was closest to her, but before she could sit, Kenji strolled in cradling her bag and yelled, "Hey, princess, I am not your slave. Carry your own stuff next time!" He chucked it at her.

Fllay tried to catch it, but her hands missed and the bag hit her midsection, winding her. She let out an "oof" as her breath was forced out of her lungs. "Sergeant Mizuno! Please don't throw things in here!" Lacus reprimanded. Kenji just shrugged and stuck his hands in his pocket.

"Well, now that Fllay's settled in, I guess we should go back now," Kira said, drawing everyone's attention. "Athrun and I still have to plan the route for Cagalli to get to the Justice Hall on the day of the trial. We'll make a move first," he added.

Athrun bid goodbye to the room. "See you another time," he called out. "Lieutenant Mizuno, do try to keep your brother from getting bored," he requested politely as he made his way out.

"Yes, sir!" Sakiya snapped back, straightening her back as she replied.

Fllay was acutely aware that she had very little time. "Wait, Kira..." she dropped her bag and reached out after him, her feet clattering against the floor unsteadily.

He looked back, not meeting her eyes this time either. "I'm sorry Fllay, maybe another time," he said, putting a definite stop to any argument she might have countered with. The door shut after him, and Fllay's hand landed on wood instead of flesh.

Their first real exchange since he was reported as MIA, and those were the words he said. Fllay's heart ached as she forgot the fact that she had an audience and slid to the floor, trying not to cry.

**A/N: I'm really exhausted right now, and this has been a long and taxing chapter to write, so if it's not up to standard, I'm so sorry. I also realised that I spammed a few random new characters in, so to compensate for that I'll bring in Fllay's old friends next chapter. I hope. Anyway, kudos to ****RedCrimson**** for hitting the nail on the head. You and I really think alike in a lot of ways.**

**And I know that the orphanage is on the Marshall Islands, but to make my life easier I'm putting it on the mainland.**

**This chapter is part of the mass upload of 18/02. Why 18/02? Because it's my 18th birthday, and I suppose I'm obliged to give out presents. I would love reviews too, so would you please make me a very happy person and review? xD**


	7. Reunited

**A/N: My fingers hurt… from playing the piano for two hours straight. I really should know better.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam SEED.**

* * *

**Chapter 7 – Reunited**

Fllay stood on the beach, facing the sea and kicking sand into the air aimlessly. It was in the early afternoon, and the sun was a blazing sphere beaming down on her skin, but she couldn't stay cooped up in the small wooden building any longer. She imagined that if she had to hear children fighting one more time, she would go crazy.

Staring out at the clear blue water, she could almost fool herself into thinking that she was alone. Almost. Because she knew that all she had to do was turn and she'd probably see Sakiya standing a mere hundred metres away from her, watching her surroundings for any threat. A hundred metres away in another direction was Kenji, similarly watching for any threat against her. All this security felt stifling, but she would rather not try to talk Sakiya out of following her around all the time. The older woman had only reluctantly allowed Fllay to go out without her disguise.

With her red hair tied up loosely, Fllay watched the seagulls wheeling across the water, but her mind was really elsewhere. Ever since she arrived at the orphanage, Kira hadn't returned even once. She knew that it wasn't normal, because she overheard Lacus talking to Athrun over the phone about how Kira was overworking himself by taking on extra shifts over the last three days. It didn't take a genius to put two and two together. Kira was obviously trying to avoid her.

She sighed out loud. If her bodyguards heard, they gave no sign of it. The sun was getting hot enough that Fllay was beginning to long for the shade of the orphanage. Sighing again, she trudged through the sand, making her way back. As though drawn by a string, Sakiya and Kenji followed, always on the lookout for anything out of the ordinary.

Lacus had been nice to her, as expected, Fllay mused as she left a trail of footprints leading to the building. More than she deserved, really. She could tell that Lacus really loved Kira, and with how kind and caring she was, they would make a perfect match.

_And what about me?_ That thought rose unbidden into her head. Resolutely, Fllay pushed that thought away. She didn't have the space to think about it now.

Then there was the Reverend, who was about as nice as Lacus. Fllay felt slightly embarrassed that he seemed to be able to tell that she didn't enjoy having kids run in and out of her room, even though she technically had no right to keep them out. But he knew, and he made an effort to keep her from being bothered by them too often. And for that, she was grateful.

And finally there was Mr Brown, a middle-aged professional lawyer who came down to the orphanage every day to work with Lacus and her on her impending trial. Fllay didn't know his full name; he only introduced himself as Mr Brown, and Lacus addressed him by that, so Fllay followed suit. Mr Brown was inquisitive, and apparently patient enough to be civil even when half her answers to his questions were along the lines of "I don't know" or "I'm sorry, I can't remember."

What she did know and remember wasn't very comforting either. For one, there was no witnesses to testify that Le Creuset had told her that the disc was the key to ending the war, so she couldn't prove that she had been misled. There was no closed-circuit TV in his quarters either, so even if there was an salvageable footage, they wouldn't have any to prove her innocence anyway.

On the other hand, there was a whole bunch of Earth Alliance soldiers who could testify that she had parroted Le Creuset's words, and that the whole N-Jammer fiasco started after she handed the disc over to Azreal, so things didn't look too good on that front either. Mr Brown and Lacus had been nice enough to keep it from her, but she knew that if the PLANTs called on those soldiers, she could kiss her case – and her life – goodbye.

Fllay sighed again, and this time Sakiya did turn to give her a look. She responded by shaking her head to indicate that nothing was wrong, nothing that the lieutenant could fix anyway. She sort of felt sorry for the two ORB soldiers, they didn't ask to be here. Kenji, in particular, had been especially vocal about being stuck in the middle of nowhere with no buddies to joke and fool around with. Fllay's first instinct was to apologise for his plight, but before she could say a word, Sakiya had told him to be a man and suck it up before she sent him to joke and fool around with the sharks.

Everyone had obligingly laughed at that, but privately Fllay could understand where Kenji was coming from. She felt pretty lonely herself, what with having no friends around to talk to. Lacus was the only girl of her age around, and while she was pleasant enough, Fllay couldn't hold a decent conversation with her without feeling horribly uncomfortable and guilty. It was at times like this that she missed Miriallia and Tolle and Kuzzey and Sai. Then she would feel sorry that she volunteered back then and made all of them volunteer with her, because if they didn't, Tolle would still be alive, and Sai… she would still be dating Sai.

Even though it would have been horribly unfair to him, because she now knew that she never really loved Sai, she was just flattered by his attention and saw him as an anchor during the war. In fact, she probably never loved anyone genuinely until Kira. But even if Kira hadn't been in the picture, she and Sai would have fallen apart eventually. She just didn't like him in the same way he liked her.

Still, she wanted to meet him anyway. The way they had ended things was less than perfect, and she should probably at least apologise to him for the way she treated him on the Archangel.

Despite that, she didn't breath a word about her thoughts to anyone. She felt that she was enough of a burden as it is, and she had no right to be asking for favours.

Fllay sighed a third time, this time in relief, as she stepped into the cool shade that the orphanage building offered. The sun had become a killer, a blazing ball too bright to even think of looking at, and Fllay hadn't put on any sunscreen or worn a cap. Now she was slightly sunburned, and as she looked enviously at Sakiya, she admired the woman's foresight in wearing a cap and sunglasses.

Kicking her shoes lightly against the steps, she removed most of the sand that clung to them before stepping into the building proper. A couple of kids were playing on the porch, but they didn't approach her or the two guards accompanying her. When she first arrived, she had been pestered every hour or so to play some game or other with them, all of which she politely declined, much to the children's disappointment. Kenji had agreed on and off, depending on his mood, and Sakiya had given off such a murderous aura that none of the kids dared to approach her.

Fllay stepped into the main hall, wondering if Mr Brown had already arrived. He hadn't, apparently, but Lacus was sitting at the table, speaking on the phone to someone. Fllay pulled out a chair and waited for her to be done. Sakiya and Kenji wordlessly split up, one to the window and the other to the door. She could feel Sakiya watching her with one eye even though she was technically supposed to be looking out of the window for suspicious activity. It made her feel uncomfortable, but she was somewhat used to it. The lieutenant seemed to make a hobby out of glaring at people.

"Yes, she won't be here today," Lacus was saying pleasantly to whoever it was on the other end of the line. "I'm sure that we'll be fine, since Miss Allster has already told us everything she knows. Would that be alright with you, Mr Brown?"

So Lacus was talking to Mr Brown about her. Fllay traced the grain of the wood. Who wouldn't be here today? From the sound of it, it was probably herself, but she wasn't allowed to leave the orphanage… was she?

"Yes, yes, thank you very much. I'll see you later then," Lacus said cheerfully before hanging up. Fllay was curious. Just what had they been talking about?

"Was that Mr Brown?" asked Fllay, her hands still tracing over the table.

The pink-haired girl smiled brilliantly at her. "Yes, it was. I was telling him that you wouldn't be around today, you have to go somewhere."

"Oh," Fllay replied automatically. Her mind ran through the possibilities, none of which seemed very good. "Where am I going?"

Lacus' smile turned mysterious, though it was as broad as ever. Placing a finger on her lips, she said conspiratorially, "You'll find out soon. Lieutenant and Sergeant Mizuno will be taking you there, and you'll have to disguise yourself again. But I'm sure you'll have a good time."

Fllay cast an eye at the two Lacus mentioned. Sakiya was now conscientiously looking out of the sole window, and deliberately not meeting her eyes, which was worrying. When Sakiya wasn't being straightforward and downright scary, it probably meant that something was wrong. She turned to Kenji, who was leaning in boredom against the doorframe. He, on the other hand, met her gaze with a sardonic smile, a roll of his eyes, and affirmed what Lacus had said. "Yeah, princess, we have orders to take you somewhere. We're supposed to take you to some godforsaken forest to shoot you in the head and hide the corpse, so take your own sweet time to get ready, will you?"

It didn't sound very comforting, and it certainly wasn't funny, but Fllay smiled uncertainly anyway. She was sweaty and sunburned from spending too much time under the sun, and she still had to disguise herself. "Well, if I'm going to die, I want to die pretty," she ventured, and revelled in the look of shock on the everyone's' faces. Emboldened, she stood up and swept out of the room, sure that this time, nobody would be following her.

* * *

A full hour later, Fllay was ready. She had showered, arranged her black wig to hide her own red hair, hastily applied some aloe-vera cream to her sunburns, and had packed a small bag to take along with her. She thought she was fast, but like the last time, Sakiya and Kenji ended up waiting for her. They were at the front road, standing by a car that Fllay hadn't seen before. Although all it meant was that it wasn't Athrun's car.

"Finally," Sakiya said without her usual snappishness, which Fllay found to be strange. She gathered that her 'older sister' wasn't looking forward to this trip.

On the other hand, Kenji was practically glowing with happiness. "Took you long enough, princess," he said, and reached for the driver's door, obviously intending to drive.

At this, Sakiya raised an eyebrow. "Who said you could drive?"

"Who said I couldn't?" Kenji shot back, getting into the car. "Besides, I have the keys."

His sister rolled her eyes. "I bet he just forgot to specify," she commented as she went around to ride shotgun. Fllay ignored their banter and got into the back, settling herself just behind the driver's seat. She still didn't know where they were going, and if they weren't going to enlighten her, so be it. All she knew was that they weren't going to a random forest.

She didn't know who was the "he" that they were talking about either, but she had a pretty good idea. Her heart, responding to her thoughts, beat just a little faster. Were they going where she thought they were going? Was everything going to be alright?

"You should stop giving him more to worry about." Fllay was jolted out of her thoughts by Sakiya's scolding voice. The car started up smoothly, and sped up until they were quickly leaving the orphanage behind. "Quit giving him all those crap reports," Sakiya continued.

"But that's the only fun I ever get around here," Kenji whined as he sped along the highway. Now she knew why Athrun didn't want to let him drive, Fllay thought as she hung on to the armrest to steady herself. He was obviously speeding, and speeding far above the speed limit while he was at it.

"You can play with the kids more often if you need fun," Sakiya snapped, seemingly undisturbed by the speed at which the vehicle was going. Fllay felt like asking him to slow down, but if Sakiya wasn't bothered, then there probably wasn't anything life-threatening to worry about. Probably.

"That's not fun, that's a chore." The car was still accelerating.

"Not my problem." Was it even possible to reach this kind of speed on the road?

"Excuse me," interrupted Fllay. "Where are we going? Also, this car seems to be going… extraordinarily fast."

Kenji let out a gleeful cackle at Fllay's words. Sakiya glared at him. "Stop laughing and keep your eyes on the road, or I'll take over." She craned her neck to look at Fllay. "That's the way he drives. Don't worry, he hasn't gotten into any accidents… yet."

Which was no guarantee he wouldn't get into one now. Fllay cast a nervous look outside the window, and was even more perturbed to discover how fast the trees seemed to be flashing by.

"As for where we're going, you'll find out later," Sakiya continued. "Though one reason that Kenji's driving is that if we stick to the speed limit, we'll won't make it there in time. If it bothers you, don't look out. It helps a little."

Good advice, but it would hardly make a difference. Fllay stared down at her lap. According to Sakiya, at this rate, they would reach soon. She could get out of this speeding vehicle soon. For now, she should just concentrate on not getting carsick. It wouldn't do if she were to throw up just when she finally got to their destination.

* * *

Athrun watched as a obviously important diplomat was escorted along the hallway to Cagalli's office. He nudged Kisaka, who was standing right beside him. "Who is that?" he whispered.

Kisaka glanced at the diplomat then turned to the boy beside him. "Lord Ferael. From what I hear, he's the new leader of the Atlantic Federation."

"He's a big-shot, then?"

"Very big-shot." Kisaka watched as the man dismissed his attendants and entered Cagalli's office alone. With his trendy hairstyle and arrogant, know-it-all expression, Athrun didn't think that he'd be a very capable leader. Not that he was in any position to criticise or judge people based on their appearances. Inconspicuously, he sidled along the hallway until he was right outside the door, so that in the event that anything happened, he'd be in the best position to strike.

From his new position, he couldn't see the approving look that Kisaka wore. More importantly, even though he was all but pressing his ear against the heavy door, he couldn't hear a thing. Infuriating, but then again, the doors in the Parliament House were designed as such for a reason. And that reason was to keep important government secrets from leaking out.

On the other side of the door, the Representative of ORB shook hands with the new Atlantic Federation leader. The man smiled easily as he acknowledged her, and they both sat down facing each other across a low coffee table.

"Congratulations on your appointment, Lord Ferael," Cagalli began. "It is a pleasure to finally meet you."

"The pleasure is all mine, Representative Athha," Ferael said, reclining into his seat. Ferael was young for someone in his position, but he was no younger than the ORB princess who sat across him. His narrow eyes turned upwards at the side as he smiled genially at the girl. "You have done a very good job in rebuilding your country. I apologise for the actions of my predecessor that have caused your people so much pain and suffering, and I offer my condolences."

"Thank you for your kind words, sir," Cagalli said, trying to smile diplomatically back. "The same for your people."

"On their behalf, I sincerely thank you."

"I'm sure that as the new head of the Federation and the Earth Alliance, you must be a very busy man," continued Cagalli, not at all swayed by his words. "Which was why I was rather surprised when I heard that you put a meeting with me as one of your top priorities. I wasn't aware that there were any urgent issues that would require my input."

Ferael's smile took on a hint of chagrin. "My my, you certainly are direct, Representative." He leaned forward slightly. "You must be tired of hearing this already, but to tell you the truth, I'm here regarding the trial of one Fllay Allster."

Immediately Cagalli's shoulders stiffened. Her next lines came out tense. "Are you here to put in a special request for her to be pardoned, Lord Ferael?"

The slight change in her demeanor did not go unnoticed. Ferael flapped his hand dismissively. "Of course not, whatever gave you that idea?" he replied easily. "To tell you the truth, I heartily disapproved of sending those officers down here to take up your valuable time, but I wasn't in any position to put a stop to it before. I'm sure that you agree with me that the life of one foot soldier isn't worth re-igniting the war between the Earth and the PLANTs."

Cagalli's eyes narrowed ever so slightly. "And you are proposing…"

"A concession," Ferael promptly replied. "The Atlantic Federation will not push this matter any further. We will allow the PLANTs this one concession, if it will facilitate the rebuilding of broken ties. The Earth Alliance will provide all the witnesses that the PLANTs request for, and they will be cooperative. All you have to do on your side is to ensure that the relevant parties are… amenable to it."

Cagalli was disgusted. So this man was suggesting that the trial be rigged? What else was he thinking of? "And if I am unwilling?"

Ferael feigned a look of shock. "Why, this is the best solution to the problem at hand. I have been following reports of the defendant, and she poses substantial social risks to your country as well, does she not? I do not see what you have to disagree to."

"The law commands a fair trial!" snapped Cagalli, momentarily forgetting her image as the Representative.

"_You_ make the laws in this country, do you not?" countered Ferael, leaning back. "You create them and uphold them. And if necessary, you change them. I am offering you a peaceful solution to your potential internal conflicts, Representative. Don't turn it down without thinking it through."

Cagalli gritted her teeth. "I will not do something so dishonourable, sir. ORB has suffered enough damage to its infrastructure; I will not have the values left behind by my father eroded as well. That would be an insult to his sacrifice," she ground out, her hands subconsciously clenching into fists.

Ferael remained unfazed. "Just think it through, Representative Athha." He stood up, leaving the furious girl behind as he walked to the door. His hand rested on the doorknob as he turned to look one last time at the Representative. "You may suspect that I have inner motives," he said abruptly, startling Cagalli, "but the countries under the Federation have suffered enough damage as well. I only wish for peace, just as you do." The knob turned under his hand with a barely noticeable click. "Farewell, Representative."

The door shut with another soft click, leaving Cagalli alone in the huge room. "And yet, the price that we're each willing to pay is so different," she whispered hoarsely to the empty room.

* * *

The trip back to the city from the orphanage took noticeably less time than the trip from the city did. Even though she wasn't carsick, Fllay was thoroughly sick of Kenji's driving by the time he slowed to a reasonable speed. They were winding through the roads now, and Fllay was never more grateful for the complex traffic network that lay at the heart of the city.

"We'll be there any time now, so be ready to disembark," Sakiya said, breaking the silence that had reigned for most of the trip. Fllay was half-expecting even the lieutenant to sound shaky, but she sounded perfectly in control. Which kind of irked her, but then again, it was probably a side-effect of having a driving maniac for a brother that made one immune to carsickness.

They finally pulled to a stop in front of a tall building. Fllay peered out of the window. It was a hotel, she saw. Simple enough to be affordable, but not shabby so it wouldn't attract all the wrong customers. She was wondering why they were there when Sakiya snapped at her from outside the car. "Akiko! Hurry up!"

Fllay realised that the siblings were outside waiting for her, and a valet was also patiently waiting for her to get out before parking the car. She quickly yanked on the doorknob and pushed the car door open. Grabbing her bag, she hurried out, and flanked by Sakiya and Kenji, she entered the main lobby.

The two of them hustled her past a counter where the staff studiously ignored them, past a fountain topped with exquisite statues, and into an elevator. "Which storey is the meeting room on again?" asked Kenji as his fingers hovered over the buttons.

"Fifteen," Sakiya replied curtly. Kenji's fingers pushed the correct button, and Fllay felt a familiar sinking sensation in her gut as the elevator sped upwards. Sakiya was standing ramrod straight, and the younger girl got the impression that her guard was feeling nervous. Which didn't make her feel very secure, but she was too busy preparing herself for whatever came next to worry about it then.

The elevator doors slid open, along with a mechanical tinkle of a bell. Fllay was escorted out quickly. Her feet immediately sank into thick carpets, and once again she wondered why she was here. Sakiya and Kenji led her along the corridors, turning every now and then, finally stopping at a large double-door at the end.

One of the doors was slightly ajar, and Fllay could hear the soft murmur of voices coming from within. They sounded rather familiar, although she couldn't hear clearly enough to place them. She reached out a pale hand to push open the door. The well-oiled hinges turned without a sound, and Fllay found herself in a large carpeted room, with thick curtains drawn and posh couches arranged around the centre.

But it wasn't the room itself that held Fllay's attention. It was the three people seated on the couches, chatting animatedly. There were two boys and a girl. Upon hearing her sharp intake on breath, the brown-haired girl jumped up, turned, and reached out both arms to Fllay.

"Finally," said Miriallia Haww, smiling as her arms reached around to embrace a shock-still Fllay.

* * *

**A/N: Yay, I'm done. For now. I said I'd bring in Fllay's friends, and I did. I'm hoping to wrap this entire story up in another 3 chapters, but since this chapter didn't end where I planned it may go on further than I planned. Hopefully I'll finish this by September, when I go into technological hibernation. If not, then updates will only resume in December.**

**Also, may the people of Japan be safe, and may Japan itself recover soon.**

**Please leave a review, even if you hated this chapter, so that I can continue to improve. What's good, what's bad, what's boring, I'd love to hear your thoughts on them all. Thank you so much!**


	8. Fallen

**A/N: My schedule is excessively screwed. Writing once a week might prove impossible. I think.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam SEED. Is anyone having fun out there?**

* * *

**Chapter 8 – Fallen**

Fllay felt Miriallia's warmth envelop her as she stood still. Over the other girl's shoulder she could see two boys sitting on the couch, looking slightly uncomfortable but sort of happy, nonetheless. Or at least, she thought so. Out of the corner of her eye she could see Sakiya moving discreetly to the window again, which meant that Kenji would be at the door.

She hesitated for a moment, but Fllay eventually returned the embrace. It felt strange. As far as she could remember, she had never been that close to Miriallia. They were friends, yes, and good ones at that, but they had never been the kind to share their real problems, the kind that went beyond a wardrobe malfunction or a trivial argument between friends. It was comforting, in a way.

Miriallia patted Fllay on the back a few times before letting go. All of a sudden, Fllay was acutely aware of how cold the room felt. She let the other girl take her hand and guide her to the couch, facing Sai and Kuzzey. Her eyes immediately focused on Sai's face, looking for any sign of distrust that she felt should have been there. Unfortunately, she couldn't read his expression that well, all she could tell that he felt slightly awkward but not unhappy to be here.

Which was a good thing, she reminded herself as she sat down next to Miriallia, her hands folded tensely on her lap.

"How… How did you get here?" Fllay could hear a slight tremor in her own voice that she wasn't surprised at. After all, she hadn't expected to ever see all of them together again.

"Well, I don't know about Sai and Kuzzey, but I got a call from Kira asking if I wanted to meet up with you," said Miriallia. "And obviously I wasn't about to say no."

Fllay noted that Miriallia seemed more worn out that the last time they had met, back at her house. There were faint lines around her eyes, as though she hadn't been sleeping well.

"Same here," said Sai. Fllay redirected her attention to him. Beside him, Kuzzey nodded in agreement. "We had to take precautions to get here. I've been here for about four hours."

"What? Why?" asked Fllay in confusion. Had they all been waiting for her?

"Common sense, princess," drawled Kenji from his corner. Fllay turned see him leaning against the doorframe, looking totally relaxed. "If anyone sees your three friends arriving together, it doesn't take a genius to put two and two together. And before you think that the public doesn't know about your private life, think again. The tabloids have been doing some digging."

"So there you have it," said Miriallia brightly. "We've been waiting for you all this time. And before I forget, I like your hair. Did you dye it, or is it just a wig?"

Fllay's hand automatically reached up to tug at her temporarily black locks. "It's a wig."

"I think it's a good idea," Sai interjected. "Especially after what happened last week. Are you alright? You weren't hurt, were you?"

Fllay shook her head. The bruises on her legs had faded, and in any case it wasn't a serious enough injury to warrant any attention. It didn't occur to her that long ago, she wouldn't have thought twice about complaining about a mere paper cut. "I'm fine."

"That's good," said Sai, and Fllay stared at her lap. She hated the feeling that was washing over her at the moment. Guilt. She hated that feeling, because she had enough of it to last her a lifetime. Oh, why did Sai have to be nice to her?

"Hey, Kuzzey, why are you so quiet?" he continued, turning to the boy silently sitting beside him. Now that Fllay looked, he too, was staring at his lap, his expression unreadable. When Sai called his name, he looked up, startled.

"Huh? I – I…" his voice trailed off as his gaze flickered from one face to another. Fllay looked at him expectantly. His eyes finally settled on Miriallia. He took a deep breath and continued. "I'm sorry," he blurted. "That I wasn't brave enough to stay at that time. I wish I did. I'm sorry."

"I thought we were over that." Miriallia smiled graciously at Kuzzey. "We agreed that it was your choice. And besides, even if you did, nothing would have changed."

"Miri's right, you couldn't have done anything," Sai added.

Kuzzey looked unconvinced, shooting a glance at Miriallia. Fllay could tell what he was thinking. He was like her, in a way. But he didn't have any fault, other than leaving his friends. He didn't intend harm. But she did.

"I'm sorry too," Fllay said into the silence. "For being so selfish."

For a moment the other three just stared at her in awkward silence, before Miriallia broke it by laughing. "Wow, I think that's a first."

Sai laughed too. "I think so too."

"I'm serious," protested Fllay. "Especially… Sai…" She trailed off as she realised that she didn't really know what to say. What was one supposed to say at times like this?

"It's okay, Fllay," Sai smiled kindly. "It's all in the past now."

"Yeah, we all did things that we regret. It's fine." Miriallia draped an arm around Fllay comfortingly.

At that moment, Fllay felt as though a huge weight was lifted off her. Her friends were willing to take her back, all of them. The trial meant less to her than what they thought. Her eyes began to sting. "Thanks," she finally choked out after a long pause.

"Good. Now that we have that settled, let's change the subject. So… Have the kids driven you nuts?"

* * *

It was almost as if nothing had happened. For two hours, they talked and even laughed. The sound of her own laughter surprised her. Or rather, how natural it sounded after a while surprised her. Even Kuzzey looked better after an hour of aimless chatting.

They did run into one or two rough moments, when the subject of Kira was brought up, and when her impending trial was discussed. Before the situation got out of hand, though, Miriallia successfully glossed over them both by talking about how she was going to do a photography course and be a photojournalist in the future. Everyone then promptly congratulated her and forgot all about the previous topic.

For that, Fllay was grateful to Miriallia, but she couldn't help letting her mind wander back to those topics. Like, did Kira know how much she wanted to see her friends again? Did he set up this meeting with her in mind, or did one of them ask for it? Or did his sister egg him into it? Was the discussion back at the orphanage going well?

Yes, it didn't escape her notice that she spent too much time dwelling on the former topic than the latter.

Fllay was sipping from a cup of orange juice that room service (instructed to leave the trolley out in the hallway) had brought when a small beeping sound was heard from near the window. She raised her eyes from her cup. Sai, in the midst of talking about his new college, paused and turned to see the lieutenant fiddling with her watch. "It is time to go," she announced.

Fllay nodded to indicate that she understood and tipped her head back to finish the remaining juice. Sakiya swept past her, over to the door and indicated for Kenji to go first. She turned back slightly. "I would appreciate it if you'd give us fifteen minutes to clear the area before you leave. In any case, this room is booked for the whole day, so feel free to stay if you wish."

"Well, then, see you," Fllay said uncertainly, setting down the empty cup.

"Take care of yourself," Miriallia said, forcing a smile. "I'll be there… If I can get a pass into the courtroom."

Fllay rose uncertainly. Her gaze swept over each of their faces in turn. It had really been a wonderful two hours, but all good things had to end. For a moment, she locked eyes with Sai. He gave her a small smile and a wave.

Fllay hesitantly smiled back, before a impatient tapping sound from Sakiya forced her to hurry to the woman's side. She gave one last wave before she left the room, and all her friends behind.

They all waved back encouragingly.

Walking along the hallway with Sakiya, Fllay felt some lingering peace from the conversation with her friends. It really did feel good to have unburdened herself somewhat. Now there was just the other half to contend with.

"Kenji is getting the car," Sakiya said matter-of-factly as she all but marched along the hallway with Fllay in tow. She tilted her head to stare at her charge with one eye. "I hope you got something out of the last two hours."

"I did, thank you very much," Fllay replied. "It must have been tiring, standing all this time."

The look she received in reply was a cross between amusement and arrogance. "Two hours is peanuts, girl."

"But still, thank you," she persisted.

Sakiya's eyes twitched, as though she wanted to roll them but was much too professional to give in to that temptation. "You're welcome."

They took the elevator back to the ground floor and crossed the lobby, Sakiya striding in front confidently as though she had every right to be there. Fllay observed her from the back and tried to imitate her gait, but a few steps with her shoulders pulled back and back overly straight made her feel self-conscious and foolish, so she quickly stopped and resumed walking normally.

She didn't quite notice that Sakiya's shoulders were stiffer than usual, and that a pair of eyes were tracking her as she followed the lieutenant across the lobby and into a car that pulled up outside the front doors.

The minute the car doors slammed shut and Kenji was off at his usual breakneck speed, Sakiya opened her mouth. "I think we're being followed," she announced calmly.

Fllay, in the backseat buckling her seatbelt, felt her fragile bubble of peace burst. Her hand froze, hovering above the buckle. "Are we?"

"I'm almost sure of it," asserted the lieutenant. "Can you outdrive them?"

Kenji rolled his eyes, his hands loose on the steering wheel. "Probably. Most likely. Though we'll have to detour first. Make sure we throw them off." His eyes flickered up to the rearview mirror, briefly connecting with Fllay's gaze before moving past and focusing on the traffic behind. "Geez, princess, your disguise must suck if they still picked you out. Or maybe it's your behaviour that tipped them off."

"Try to shake them off," commanded Sakiya. "Girl, buckle that seatbelt. We're going faster."

Fllay unfroze. Her hand shoved the buckle into its clasp. "Who're they?" she asked.

Sakiya glanced at Kenji once before replying. That worried Fllay. "Coordinators who were from PLANTs, I bet. We had our fair share of refugees flooding in during the war."

Fllay was about to ask another question when the car suddenly accelerated and spun sharply to the right, throwing her across the seat. She pushed herself back up even as the car was speeding up yet again, spitting out blood from her tongue which she had accidentally bitten, and asked, "What's the plan now?"

"We depend on Kenji's driving," Sakiya said grimly. "And if it fails, we run." She pulled out a cell phone and started punching in numbers, even as the car cut across another corner and sent Fllay sprawling over the backseat. "Don't bother getting up. It's safer to stay down."

Fllay obediently followed her orders and yanked at the seat belt until it was sufficiently loose for her to lie all the way down on the backseat. The car was going faster than before, she observed. The buildings were flashing by at a much faster rate, and the inertia pushed her all the way against the back. She felt her heart speed up, but at the same time, she tried to calm herself down by telling herself that everything would be alright, she was with two competent soldiers after all. Everything would turn out fine, she repeated to herself.

Then the noise started. Sakiya must have gotten through to whoever she was trying to call, because she started shouting things that didn't really make sense to the girl lying in the back. At the same time, Kenji yelled a curse and slammed his palm on the steering wheel, honking at whoever was in front of their car. Fllay flinched at the discordant harmony they created, then she herself was adding to it when she screamed as the car jerked to a sudden halt.

Sakiya was cursing as Fllay pulled herself upright. She figured that as things were, staying down or up wasn't going to make a difference. "What happened?" she demanded shakily.

Kenji gnashed his teeth together. "Traffic congestion," he said through gritted teeth, his hand reaching inside his coat, no doubt for his firearm.

Fllay's palms grew clammy. "What do we do now?" she asked nervously.

Sakiya rummaged under her seat for her phone, which had slipped out of her grasp when the car braked abruptly. "Girl, unbuckle your seat belt and move behind me," she said quietly, straightening up. She put the phone back into her pocket. "When I tell you to, get out of the car and run. I'll be a few steps right behind you."

Fllay nodded automatically, though Sakiya couldn't see it. She pushed the button to unbuckle the restricting belt across her chest, and slid across the back such that she was right behind Sakiya, away from Kenji's side of the car.

Meanwhile, Kenji's eyes were focused solely on the rearview mirror, watching as several men got out from the car several vehicles behind and walked purposefully towards them. He spared Fllay a momentary look. "Don't touch your hair. If it's messed up, we'll just have to take our chances. Touch it too much, and they'll smell something fishy."

The car in front of them inched forward, and Kenji, eyes still on the mirror, inched their car forward too. Fllay's heart was beating much faster than usual, almost as fast as that time when she was in the escape shuttle and the Providence was looking down at her like she was a cockroach to be crushed.

The difference was, that time, she had been saved.

The lead man, dressed in scruffy street clothes, his face set in a frown, caught up with them and tapped twice on Kenji's window. Kenji, his face set in an apathetic look, rolled the window down. "S'up, dude?"

The man's frown grew deeper. "You been drinking too?" he slurred.

Even from that distance, Fllay could smell the alcohol on his breath. It was disgusting. She could have sworn that she heard Sakiya going "tsk" or something along those lines. That reminded her panicked mind that she was supposed to be paying attention to the woman, and she concentrated all her energy on that. However, she could still see that man's gang form up around him out of the corner of her eye.

"This early?" Kenji gave a perfectly incredulous look. "No, why would I?"

The man muttered something that might have been "crazy driver", sending another wave of alcohol over. Fllay felt dizzy as she breathed it in. She didn't know if it was the effect of the stench, or just her own mind, but she felt her chest constricting as the seconds ticked by. The car in front inched on yet again, but this time, they didn't advance.

"That's all the rage now, man. You need to catch up with the times," Kenji said, his eyes running over the gang outside his window. "Anyway, what's the problem?"

Fllay tried not to flinch visibly as she felt the man's eyes settle on her. "Just wondering who you're chaffeuring."

Sakiya leveled a cold glare at him. "My sister. Do you have a problem with that?"

The man blinked once, twice, and then his eyes refocused on Fllay's features. "Really? She looks a mighty lot like that Natural war criminal that's all over the news now."

"I would appreciate if you didn't draw comparisons between someone like that and my sister," Sakiya snapped. "Now if you'll excuse us, we have to be on our way."

"Now now," he slurred. "If you'd just spare us a minute, we just want to take a closer look to make sure that we have the wrong person, you see. In case you happen to be – ".

Before he could finish his sentence, however, Kenji's hand shot out of the window and nailed the man's face in a back-fist blow. "Run!" Sakiya yelled.

Fllay jerked into action, pulling the door handle and pushing the door open in one move. She didn't look back, but the sounds of shouting from the gang reached her ears, and she knew she had a head start of a precious few seconds. Without waiting for directions she set off at a right angle to the traffic, weaving her way in between cars, eliciting a few honks and angry shouts from the drivers. She ignored them and concentrated on making her way out of the traffic flow, onto the pavement where she could run freely.

From her left, a hand latched onto her wrist as she half-ran through the traffic. Fllay let out a small shriek and reflexively pulled her hand back, but whoever had grabbed her was much stronger than she was and held on. Her panicky eyes caught sight of a unshaven face, red with intoxication, and a raised hand holding an empty glass bottle.

Before he could bring the bottle down on her, though, a smaller hand closed on his from the back, and another hand swiftly delivered a knife-chop to his neck. The grip on Fllay's wrist loosened and her assailant slid to the ground. "Run, you idiot!" screamed Sakiya, from behind the man.

Fllay's eyes had widened in horror when she saw her would-be assailant's neck twisted at an angle. She had heard the crack, had watched as every muscle in his body relaxed forever, never to move again. Yet another person was dead. _Because of you_, a small voice in her mind whispered. The thought froze her in place, unable to move even as the occupants of the cars surrounding her caught onto what was going on and began to flee their vehicles, beginning a stampede.

"Move!" Sakiya screamed once more, and when the shocked girl still didn't move, she jumped over the corpse and shoved her hard.

Forcibly moved by the push, Fllay stumbled forward a few steps and fell onto the road. The pain radiating up her hands and knees unfroze her at last, but before she could recover her wits and get up, she heard a loud blast, felt a sudden surge of heat, and found herself surrounded by smoke.

Fllay coughed as the smoke filled her lungs, covering her mouth with a hand to block out as much of it as possible. Her hand left a trail of blood on her face, and dimly she noted that both her palms and knees were bleeding from having slid across the asphalt. For the second, the taste of blood filled her mouth, and her tongue hurt. The thud of something connecting with the ground caught her attention, and she turned her head to her right.

Initially, she couldn't see anything through the smoke, but as it dissipated, it became clear to Fllay was she was seeing, and she finally screamed, long and loud.

The burnt and bloody body of Lieutenant Sakiya was lying on the ground next to her.

* * *

**A/N: This chapter and the next are probably pretty boring to read, but fun to write. I finally got some action in it. And I finally planned for Kira to get some decent lines. Next chapter, maybe xD**

**Anyway, it's really true that I may not be able to be as consistent anymore because school's really getting hectic. So now I'd like to ask, would you guys prefer longer chapters, slower updates or shorter chapters, faster updates? Just interested to know, so I can see what I can do about it.**

**Also, I have a poll up on my profile regarding my future stories, so if any of you are interested you can go take a look and vote on it.**

**And as always, reviews and feedback are very much appreciated.**


	9. Perspectives

**A/N: So I gather from the shortage of response the last chapter than it didn't go down too well with most of you. Since only RedCrimson and nightdreamerms actually provided feedback, and they seemed to like it, I'll just blatantly assume that everything is fine and keep at it anyway.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam SEED.**

* * *

**Chapter 9 – Perspectives**

Athrun strode down the hallways of the Parliamentary house tersely.

The situation had not been entirely unexpected, in a sense, but he hadn't been expecting the severity of it. Who would have imagined that a home-made explosive, one that had a small radius, would just have the luck to end up near a car with a leaky gas tank? Athrun just had to have the luck to be the only one in the office when the call came, and he made the snap decision to send military enforcement.

In retrospect, that had been the smartest decision any of them made all week.

He had just overseen the cleanup of that highway and assigned several more people to do the post-hospitalisation paperwork for all the casualties, and now the final thing to do was to report to the Representative.

And she was just behind this door. He wiped his palms on the hem of his shirt before giving a sturdy knock.

"Come in," a tired voice came from the room.

He twisted the doorknob and entered. Cagalli's worn-out face lit up just the slightest when she saw him, but it felt as though she was giving him a smile more than smiling, if that made sense.

"What's up?" she asked, and Athrun noted the strained undercurrents in her voice. This was not a Cagalli that he wanted to be delivering bad news to.

All the same, he had to. He would really rather that she find out while he was there, because then he'd be able to control the blowout.

He crossed the room in a few quick strides, until he was right in front of her desk. "Cagalli, don't be too shocked, but there was a riot today, on the streets," he said carefully.

She looked confused. "What?"

He didn't want to go on, but he had to. He just had to. "Some of the Coordinator refugees from the war spotted Miss Allster, and they had a homemade bomb. They were drunk, I guess, and they just attacked." Seeing the growing horror on her face, he quickly tried to remedy the situation. "The collateral damage isn't that great, and there weren't as many casualties as you'd expect, so don't worry about it."

Cagalli said nothing.

"Cagalli?" She was worrying him.

Her lips parted, and she issued an order. "Call a press conference. This has gone way too far." Her voice was frighteningly low.

"What will you say to them?" He asked, more out of concern that curiosity.

"Anything. It doesn't matter," she said, her voice beginning to tremble. She slammed her palms on the table, stood up, and began walking past Athrun to the door.

Athrun caught her wrist before she could get too far. "Cagalli, don't. Please."

"WHAT ELSE CAN I DO?" She suddenly exploded. Athrun flinched as she turned to glare at him with her fiery amber orbs. On meeting his own, they softened and began to water. "What else can I do?" she repeated, more quietly this time, her shoulders beginning to shake uncontrollably.

In response, Athrun just pulled her close. Perhaps there was nothing that she do now, without further fanning the flames of this hatred, but at least she should feel at peace.

* * *

Three hours.

It had been three hours since Fllay left the hotel. Three hours nerve-wracking hours since she ran from the car. Three dread-filled hours since she laid eyes on Lieutenant Mizuno Sakiya's burnt and bloodied body.

After she screamed, things seemed to happen very quickly. Military reinforcements arrived in time to prevent the run-in from escalating into a full-blown riot. Kenji had come out of nowhere to pick her up from the ground, where she had been too shell-shocked to even try to move. Following that she had been shoved unceremoniously, for the second time in as many weeks, into the back of a van and taken away. Only this time, she was screaming and sobbing as the military van bulldozed through the cars and took her to safety.

When she arrived at the military base, still screaming for someone to _help Sakiya, please_, one of the medics finally got enough sense to sedate her so she would keep silent and stop pounding on the walls of the van in her hysteria.

Three hours later, Fllay awoke in her room at the orphanage, with the red-orange rays of the setting sun playing across the ceiling. For a brief moment she managed to fool herself into thinking that nothing had happened and she was just waking up to a normal day at the orphanage, but no. The rising sun would never shine through the one window in her room. And there was no way, no way ever, that the image of Mizuno Sakiya's corpse could be cooked up by her imagination.

She had to accept that this afternoon happened. She couldn't wish it away, no matter how much she wanted to.

The drugs still swimming around in her bloodstream helped to keep her emotions under control. As it was, she still felt too hazy to conjure up horror that consumed her three hours before.

Nonetheless, thinking rationally helped her a little. Clumsily, Fllay pulled herself upright and swung her legs over the side of the bed. While she slept someone had taken the initiative to clean and dress the wounds on her palms and knees. She didn't know who, and she couldn't care either. She had to know if the lieutenant was alright. She already had one Coordinator man added to the weight on her conscience; she didn't want Sakiya to be added too, because Fllay knew beyond doubt that she would be the heavier than the rest.

As she cautiously made her way out of her room, she heard raised voices. Carefully, with one hand braced against the wall for support, Fllay made her way to the common dining area, where the sounds of the argument were coming from.

"What the hell? What do you mean, I can't go see her? She's my sister dammit!" That voice was clearly Kenji's, and Fllay's heart sank. Was Sakiya still alright?

_Is she still alive?_

"I'm sorry, but no. After what happened, you are clearly needed here. As a Sergeant of the ORB army, I'm charging you to stay here and perform your duty." The second voice was more familiar still, and hazy as Fllay was, she couldn't mistake it anywhere.

She was just in the corridor outside the dining hall when the owner of the second voice left and nearly knocked her over in his haste. He didn't though, because his reflexes were much faster than that.

For the first time since everything began, Fllay was looking straight at Kira, and he was returning her gaze plainly, without averting his eyes. _Tell him_, a part of her screamed. _Say it now!_

But no matter how hard she tried, the words just wouldn't come. They faltered on the tip of her tongue, died in her throat. Because how could she still think about herself at a time like this? What kind of person did that make her?

Kira saved her from making a decision though. "Are you alright?" he asked, and Fllay could see a mixture of concern and anger in his eyes. Anger at who, she wondered, and she felt fear run down her spine.

Unable to trust her voice, she nodded.

"Go get some rest," he half-ordered and slipped past her brusquely. He was heading towards the back door, Fllay saw, but she couldn't let him leave. Not now, when the silent barrier between them had finally been broken.

"Wait!" she called out hoarsely, her voice scratchy from all the screaming she did earlier.

He paused, but didn't turn to face her.

Fllay didn't know what to say, now that she did have his attention. Should she just go with what she wanted all along? Would it be right for her to selfishly want something for herself now?

The words came unbidden. "How's the lieutenant?" she blurted.

Another pause. Then Kira answered. "She's been hospitalised. It'll be a while before she can return to active duty."

The slight hesitation told her much more than his answer did. Fllay kept staring down the hallway even after Kira had left. She didn't get what she wished for, but she didn't feel any worse about herself as a person. That, she decided, would have to be enough for now.

She peered into the dining room. Kenji was glaring blankly at the wall, as though it had committed some sort of grievous sin against him. "Are you alright?" she asked with her scratchy voice.

He turned his gaze on her, and she froze when she saw the anger in his face. "Do you think I'm alright?" he returned darkly.

She said nothing, just silently turned and left him alone.

* * *

Fllay didn't eat much that night. After leaving the dining hall, she returned to her room as ordered, but she couldn't rest. She ended up staring out of the window until Lacus came with her dinner tray, which she barely touched despite all the other girl's coaxing. Lacus had kept trying though, but everything just tasted dry and heavy on her tongue, and in the end the songstress had to settle with tucking her charge in. Fllay didn't resist. Lacus' mothering was actually comforting to a point, and the more she thought about it, the more comfortable with the Coordinator she felt.

Even after the sun had set, even after she was sure everyone had gone to bed, she couldn't sleep. Or rather, she wouldn't let herself sleep. She was fairly certain that something would happen soon, and there was something she wanted to do.

She knew Kira was at the orphanage tonight, but the events of the day seemed to drive her desire to talk to him out of her mind. And the events that would follow made her unable to face him, no matter how much she wanted to.

There was no point in thinking about it now. Fllay sighed silently and got up. She reached for some clothes in the dark and put them on. Then she slipped out of her room, quietly making her way down the hallway, until she arrived at the garage.

She arrived just in time, it seemed. A shadow was making its way around the only car currently occupying the building, and she knew that her suspicions had been right. Her shoe scuffed against the ground, and Kenji's head shot up.

"What are you doing here?" he hissed. "Go back in!"

Fllay set her jaw and lifted her head stubbornly. "I'm going with you."

"No you will not." She couldn't be sure in the dark, but if she knew anything, Kenji was probably staring daggers at her.

"If you don't take me along, I'll tell on you." There. She just played her trump card.

For a brief moment Kenji was silent, then he shook his head. "Wait here," he ordered.

Having won the argument, Fllay obeyed. Kenji slipped past her into the main building, leaving her on her own in the garage. Fllay waited a couple of minutes in tense silence, before he returned and threw something soft at her. "Put these on instead," he whispered, before going to the far corner.

Fllay initially started, but she didn't protest, just quietly changed her clothes. She felt a little awkward fumbling around with someone so close to her, but she had to trust in the fact that he wouldn't look. Anyway, he probably wouldn't see anything. The material seemed to be leather, and what felt like a cap that she held on to as she checked herself once over. "I'm done," she hissed, balling up her normal clothes. "Where do I put these?"

"Stash them under the seat," he hissed back right next to her ear. Fllay nearly jumped. She hadn't felt him move. She felt around blindly for the door handle, until Kenji whispered harshly, "This is the driver's side, idiot."

Even in the dark, Fllay could feel her cheeks begin to warm, and without another word she felt her way around the car. She heard a muffled thump as the driver's door shut, and she quickly got in on the other side, taking extra care not to slam the door like she was used to.

Once inside, she stashed her clothes under her seat, and the slight vibrations under her hands told her the Kenji just started the car. Fllay held her breath as the garage doors seemingly rumbled open, letting in the moonlight, and the car accelerated abruptly. She half-expected them to get caught, but of course the noise was all in her imagination, and the car sped away safely.

"Hey, princess, put on your seatbelt," Kenji admonished once he judged them to be sufficiently far away. His posture seemed to relax entirely, now that Fllay could see him better under the moonlight. "I'm going to be in enough shit for taking you along. I'm not about to be arrested for getting you killed in a car accident."

Fllay couldn't help but smile at the idea of that. She reached up and pulled the seatbelt down so she could buckle it. "Thank you for taking me along, then. And for this afternoon." Her stomach flipped as she tried to imagine what condition Sakiya would be in now. Would she be so horrifically injured that they wouldn't even allow visitors?

Kenji snorted. "Like I did it for you. If anything, I did it for her."

Fllay's exuberance at getting away undetected dimmed. "The two of you must be really close," she mused, thinking about the way she first met the both of them. She hadn't spared much thought for him before, but if anything, he was probably more affected by the lieutenant's condition than she was.

"I wouldn't have joined the army if it weren't for her," he agreed.

Fllay couldn't help wondering what must have happened to make them such a close-knit pair. "Didn't your parents object to you joining the army?" She knew that if her father were alive, he'd probably have a fit if she volunteered to join the Earth Alliance. Though if he were alive, she wouldn't have wanted to anyway.

Kenji snorted again. "No. It's a long story."

"And it's a long trip, even with your driving skills," Fllay pointed out quietly.

He seemed to reconsider then. Then he took a deep breath and the words just tumbled out. "Where should I begin? Ok, Dad was a mobile armour pilot in the ORB army. Sakiya's mom died in the war when she was three or so, and at that time refugees from all over were flooding into this country, so Dad met his second wife when he was deployed to control the situation. I guess he married Mom just so that someone could take care of his daughter, since he was gone half the time."

Fllay listened carefully. The siblings must take after their father then, since they look so much alike but they didn't have the same mother.

"Sakiya loved Mom more than I did, since I didn't know her. She died in childbirth. Dad never remarried. His reason being that Sis was already seven and could actually take care of me by then, but personally I think he loved Mom too much. So essentially, I was raised by my sister. And Dr Marie, I guess. She lived pretty close by."

She could just imagine the lieutenant as a young girl, holding her younger brother's hand as they made their way to a smiling Nelia. She missed Nelia a lot, but she was beginning to see beyond the mere caretaker. A wave of pity engulfed her. The lieutenant must have been very strong to pull through despite all that.

"Sakiya and I were always together, until she joined the army when I was ten. I was pretty mad about it, because she wasn't ever around anymore, so when I was fourteen I broke into the military base where she was stationed. There were enough border conflicts back then that no one was spared. I got pretty far before I got caught, and they offered me a choice of getting sent to a juvenile home or enlisting in the military. They were just _that_ short of people. I opted for the latter." He chuckled at the memory. "Sakiya was so mad when she found out."

Fllay couldn't help but be amazed at his story. That was truly reckless of him, but then again, it was reckless of her to declare herself as a volunteer soldier back on the Archangel. Love could cause a person's downfall far too easily, she reflected. Like all those dramas she used to watch, only now it wasn't a drama, this was real life.

Another thought occurred to her. "You rose through the ranks pretty quickly," she stated. If her estimation of his age was correct, at least.

A smug look spread across his features. "It helped that I picked up much faster than all the new recruits. I can understand why our forefathers created Coordinators to man the PLANTs."

Fllay's eyes widened. "So you're a Coordinator?" It had never occurred to her that he would be one. As far as she knew, the ORB army mostly consisted of Naturals.

He shot her an amused look. "Half-Coordinator, to be exact. My mother was from the one of the PLANT colonies."

This was even more interesting. Kenji's family seemed to be much of a mix-and-match. Natural father and sister, Coordinator mother, and him right in the middle of it all. It was of particular interest to her that his father and mother had been able to put aside their genetic differences and live like a normal family had. And that this half-Natural, half-Coordinator could be so nonchalant about his parentage.

"So don't think that you have no future whatsoever," Kenji continued. "Genetics only mean so much, ya'know? That's why we have the whole nature vs. nurture argument. Because smart people don't give a shit about your genetic profile."

Fllay nodded vaguely. Of course, Kenji was under Kira and Athrun, so he would probably know as much. She would rather not have him feel sorry for her, but she couldn't deny that his story did loosen the knot in the pit of her stomach. Of course there was still the trial, and she had never thought beyond that, but perhaps she should. Perhaps there was still a chance after all.

Thinking about it made her heart ache, so she tried to change the subject. "Did your dad object to both of you joining the military during a war?"

He shrugged, one hand loosely draped across the steering wheel. "If he did, he never said anything before he died."

Will she never learn to stop putting her foot in her mouth? "I'm sorry for your loss," she said quietly, fingers consciously playing with the cap sitting on her knees.

He shrugged again, though he kept his eyes on the dark road ahead, as though it held more interest for him than the girl beside. "Lots of people died," he answered vaguely.

She noticed that he didn't accept her condolences. Which, she told herself, was perfectly fine. If he didn't want her sympathy, it was fine. He was doing her enough of a favour as it is. She tugged at the hem of her borrowed leather jacket. Judging by the size, it was probably Sakiya's. And the jeans and gloves concealing her bandages probably came from the same person as well. Ironic how the very person she was going to visit was the one assisting her in getting there.

* * *

It had been a rather nerve-wracking experience getting to the hospital. Fllay wouldn't have imagined that any serial killers or potential rioters were truly on the lookout for her at this time of the night, but Kenji, being perfectly paranoid, had insisted on parking the car a fair distance away from the military-sanctioned hospital and walking the rest of the distance there. And he had insisted on Fllay hiding her hair under the cap and glaring viciously at any drunken gangsters out on the streets, so that they could proceed unmolested. Fllay had left the latter to him.

It was both cold and dark at this time, and she was grateful for the jeans and jacket that she had been forced to change into. It had taken them half an hour to cover the rest of the distance on foot, and now they were standing in front of a side entrance. Kenji, in all his paranoia, had insisted that they stayed away from the front counter, lest they "call their superiors and land me in more shit."

The door wasn't locked, and Fllay followed her bodyguard through the twists and turns of the hospital corridors until they emerged in the ICU wing of the hospital. The stark white lighting seemed harsh after the darkness, forcing her to squint. She had no idea how he knew for sure that the lieutenant was here, but then again, she had seen for herself the severity of those injuries. If she had to hazard a guess she would have chosen the ICU as well. Her eyes darted around as they walked along the corridor, inspecting every name written on the card next to the doors.

Slightly ahead of her, Kenji turned the next corner and then took a sudden step back, in the process crushing Fllay's foot.

Fllay suppressed a cry of pain and braced herself to run, in case they got caught. In fact, she had taken a couple of steps back when she realised that Kenji wasn't running. On the contrary, he was just standing there… rubbing his head… and just in front of them stood a man in a white coat.

The man raised an eyebrow calmly as he took in the two of them. "Well, well, well. What do we have here?"

Fllay gulped nervously. Busted.

Kenji removed his hand from his head. "Jake you bastard, you might have just gave me a concussion." But he was grinning – to her surprise – as he said it.

"Should have known that you couldn't stay away," he sighed. Now that Fllay was certain that they weren't about to be busted, she could relax and think clearly. This Jake didn't seem like a very old person, from his appearance. He was squarely built, with light brown hair and tired eyes. She squinted at the tag clipped to his collar. It said that he was a medical intern. She gathered that he probably was closer to Kenji's age than Sakiya's. And since this was a military hospital, this medical intern had probably been in a platoon before he was assigned here.

"Duh." Still grinning, Kenji punched him in the shoulder.

Jake bore it with a long-suffering sigh. His eyes flickered from his friend to Fllay, who was trying to make herself as small as possible. "And this is either your girlfriend or partner-in-crime, I presume?"

Kenji scowled. "Neither. Now tell me which room you locked my sister in."

Another sigh. The intern's intelligent eyes turned to Fllay once more, with understanding this time. After all, her face had been plastered on TV enough. Kenji's gaze followed, and he added, "And don't you dare tell on us."

A final sigh, and Jake said, "Room 29. Try not to make too much noise." With that, he brushed past the pair and continued down the hallway, as though nothing had happened.

"Well, come on." Kenji seemed to deflate, and Fllay, staring after the intern's retreating back, made a sound of agreement, and hurried after him.

He gently pried the door open, with one finger on his lips to indicate that Fllay should keep silent. That plan was foiled when a stiff hospital pillow smacked him squarely in the face.

Fllay's eyes widened. That was…

Then the explosion came. The verbal one. "YOU IDIOTS! WHY DID YOU BLOODY HAD TO COME? YOU ARE SO DEAD!"

Kenji picked up the pillow that had landed on the ground after accosting his face. "You're supposed to be resting, sis." His tone was as sardonic as ever, but there was an undercurrent of warmth.

Fllay herself felt tears prick at her eyes. The lieutenant was fine. Sakiya was alive. She crossed the threshold and for the first time, took a good look at Sakiya. More tears threatened to come spilling out. Sakiya looked terrible. There were bandages on every inch of her skin, save her eyes, and her black hair was dull and ragged, chopped off at irregular lengths.

"The pain keeps me up," the lieutenant groused, then catching sight of Fllay's face, snapped, "Oh for Heaven's sake, the tissue box is on the nightstand. Help yourself."

The tense look that had been present in Kenji's face all night melted away as he fluffed the pillow and slid it behind his sister's back. "Did you take your painkillers?"

"Yes, and they can't give me any more or I'll die from it."

Fllay took a tissue and hastily wiped her eyes dry. "Are you really alright?" She gestured helplessly at the bandages.

"They look worse than they actually are," Sakiya said dismissively. "After the reconstructive surgery, I should be able to get back to work."

Fllay was appalled that even at a time like this, she could think about work. Then again, this was the lieutenant who put her duty above personal safety and self-interest, so she really shouldn't have been surprised. Shouldn't, but still was.

"More importantly, you are taking a huge risk to come here," Sakiya continued sternly. "I appreciate that you are concerned, but this is an unacceptable reason. Go back before anything else happens."

Fllay nodded in understanding. Kenji, on the other hand, scowled. "What, no thanks for coming here?"

"What thanks?" Sakiya asked, her voice rising in pitch and volume. "You are in major trouble, young man. As a matter of fact, girl, can you step out for a moment? I have something to say to my brother in private."

Hoping that nothing untoward would happen, Fllay obediently left the room and shut the door. She leaned against the wall and closed her eyes. Now that the adrenaline rush had worn off, she felt quite exhausted. She wondered if it would be safe to sleep on the trip back, or if she should stay awake in order to make sure the driver didn't fall asleep and crash. Her eyelids felt heavier by the moment, and she would have slid right down the wall if she hadn't been awoken by the timely sound of glass shattering.

She was instantly awake, and ready to shoot off at a moment's notice, when Kenji darted out of the door next to her, laughing in amusement and slamming the door behind him. "Don't get too worked up, sis!"

Now that she thought about it, she had seen a vase beside the tissue box… Fllay mustered a smile at the image of the nearly-incapacitated lieutenant flinging a vase. "Did you make her angry again?"

"Probably. Why?" Kenji pretended to dust himself off. "Oh, and she had a message for you. She said she forgot to tell you before she decided to chew me out."

"What is it?"

"Something about getting yourself a spine and kicking the prosecutor's ass, because she'll be watching the news while she's immobile. Or something to that effect, anyway." With that, Kenji marched down the hallway nonchalantly, not bothering to see if Fllay followed.

_I'm sure that the Lieutenant did not say that._ Nevertheless, the idea that one more person was 100 percent behind her made her feel better. Fllay's heart warmed, and she started down the corridor, on the way home.

* * *

**A/N: Please read the following note. This chapter isn't really passable by my standards, but I thought it wouldn't be fair for me to disappear until December without updating this at least once. Yes, you read that right. I will be gone until December because exams are coming up, and they are possibly the most important exams I will have taken thus far. I really don't have the time or energy to spare to keep writing after this month, and that goes for all my stories. I barely have enough sleep as it is.**

**So the first time I will be back is December, and I will have a whole host of stories to update then. I'm really grateful to RedCrimson and nightdreamerms because they're the only ones that made this chapter go a little quicker. I really write much more fluidly when I know what I'm doing right or wrong, and what I should be devoting more paragraphs to and all that. And yes, I openly confess to being lazy, so I will probably work on what's easiest when I come back, which in all likelihood will be something Sound Horizon-related.**

**As always, thank you for putting up with me. Please review, and have a good day.**


	10. Listening

**A/N: nightdreamerms, you're really a nice person. I'm not too bothered about it, but I just have this complex where I worry that when people aren't telling me when they're mad at me, you know? It's part of my social life too, and I guess in a way it does make interacting with me hard because I read too much into things, lol.**

**Disclaimer: Do not own Gundam Seed, don't even like it as much now…**

* * *

**Chapter 10 – Listening**

She shouldn't have fallen asleep on the ride back, but she did. She should have stayed awake, if not to ensure that Kenji didn't fall asleep at the wheel, then at least to suffer along fairly with him. As it was, she didn't even wake up until the orphanage was in sight, when the sun was smiling down on the sea and when Kenji woke her up.

"Eh, wake up, princess, and be prepared to face the boss' wrath" were his exact words, and as Fllay rubbed sleep out of her eyes she wished Kenji would drive slower.

Not that she regretted sneaking out, because seeing Sakiya was worth it, but explaining it was going to be a heart-stopping experience, and not in a good way.

"Um, I'm sorry I fell asleep," she murmured. Her neck ached, and she wondered how she managed to sleep at all.

Kenji shrugged. "No biggie. You had a long day."

Then far too soon for her liking they were pulling into the driveway, and Fllay flinched on seeing the figure standing right smack in the middle of the path with his arms crossed. As Kenji pulled the car to a stop she caught side of his expression, and felt her mouth go dry.

She kept her eyes lowered as she got out of the car, taking extra care with the door to make sure it was properly shut, and basically buying time for herself to think. But she didn't have to bother, because before she could open her mouth Kira spoke first.

"Fllay, go to your room," he ordered, glaring past her at Kenji.

She obeyed meekly, starting up the path. She raised her head when she passed him. Was there anything she could say to get them out of trouble? No, not really, and as she thought that she lowered her head once more, sneaking a peek behind her as she opened the door. Kenji's face was equally set as he stood beside the car waiting for his orders, and Fllay wished him luck before she slipped through the door into the building.

Lacus was in the dining room, sitting with her hands clasped in front of her. When she heard Fllay pass, she immediately stood up and ran over. "Oh Miss Fllay, you're back! You had us all so worried!"

"I'm sorry," Fllay replied mechanically. Her thoughts were outside, and she couldn't help thinking that maybe she should have insisted on staying after all. It was as much her fault as his.

Lacus took Fllay's hands in hers. "Have you eaten?" When she received no reply, she smiled reassuringly. "Don't worry about Sergeant Mizuno, Kira isn't so much angry as worried, and you know how he gets."

"Oh." It was all she could say to that.

Lacus leaned in and whispered conspiratorially, "But personally, I think I would have gone too."

Fllay jerked in surprise and met the other girl's blue eyes. She could feel a smile tugging at the corner of her lips, even if it felt wry and humourless. The more she knew about the Coordinator girl, the more she felt as though she could grow to like her.

"So have you eaten?" Lacus repeated, and without waiting for an answer she ushers her into the dining room, pulling out a chair and asking her what she would like on her toast. Fllay lets herself be mothered, but her gaze wanders out to the beach, where two distinct figures made their way along the shoreline.

* * *

Kira marched across the sand silently, knowing that Kenji was following a few steps behind. Every now and then he could hear the swish that meant Kenji was kicking sand into the sea, and it made him irritable that he was still so carefree.

"So, what do you have to say for yourself?" he said at last.

He heard a scratching sound before Kenji's reply. "Uh, my sister wasn't as incapacitated as I thought?"

He snorted. "She threw something at you." It wasn't a question.

"Uh, yeah. Duh. Missed though."

He whirled around and fixed his stare on the boy now tossing pebbles into the air and catching them as they fell. "You do know that disobeying an order from a superior is insubordination and that you can be court-martialed for it."

"Yes, _sir_," Kenji replied, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "I also know very well the 39 ways that I could be charged for it in court, and I know that my sister could do without a second trial to watch from her hospital bed. But I have no regrets. Do whatever you want."

Kira took a deep breath. "So you decided that seeing your sister once was worth more than a few years of freedom."

"Yeah."

"And taking your charge along was no trouble at all."

"Actually," Kenji said with a faint touch of amusement, "she was hell going there and back. But since she threatened to sabotage my plans if I didn't take her along, I didn't have any other choice."

Kira blinked in surprise. "She threatened to sabotage your plans?"

His subordinate rolled his eyes. "Yes. Why, you thought I took her along because I _liked_ her or something?"

He couldn't find a reply to that, just stuck his hands in his pockets and muttered something along the lines of "no".

But Kenji caught his sudden change in mood. "Oh, by Haumea, you really thought that, didn't you?" He mimed wiping sweat off his brow with his free hand. "_Please_. Get real. Lassie would kill me. Come to think of it, so would Sis, if she thought I was."

"_Emily_ would kill you if she knew you were giving her dog nicknames anyway," Kira retorted, trying - and failing – not to show his relief too clearly. He was not relieved. No, he most certainly wasn't.

"Nah she wouldn't, it's a form of endearment. But don't tell her." He stopped, pulled back, and threw the pebbles as far as he could. They fell and sunk right into the sea, much to his disappointment. "Anyway,_ sir_, that's not the point. The point is that between his sister and his girlfriend, most men do not have the capabilities to handle another woman." He snuck a playful glance at his boss. "Unlike _someone_ here."

Kenji was forced to immediately dodge a punch. "Hey!"

Kira glared at him as he retracted his fist, though most of his anger had dissipated. The punch itself wasn't serious, it was pretty playful in nature. "That wasn't funny."

His would-be victim held up his hands in mock surrender. "Ok, it wasn't, it wasn't. I was just saying, you can keep your girls to yourself." He let his hands fall to his sides, and with a touch of seriousness he said, "Besides, even if Sis is okay with her, I'm not. I'm not so forgiving."

Kira shot him a glance. "That's not relevant to your mission. Keep your personal feelings out of this."

"Yeah, yeah, I get it." He sighed dramatically. "Anyway, man, if you had a sister like mine you'd have died long ago. Do you know what she did when I first started going out with Lassie? She drew up this long-ass list of rules for me to follow. And she called her during every date to make sure I was behaving. _Called my date_. Geez, talk about overbearing."

Kira couldn't help laughing at that image. Cagalli had been all _screw your love life_ whenever Athrun asked him if he wanted to talk about it. It didn't upset him so much as grant him a reprieve. Thinking about it gave him enough of a physical reaction to call in sick, so it was no wonder that Cagalli slammed the topic shut whenever someone tried opening it. "Actually, I think you deserved it."

Kenji groaned. "Not you too. Does no one in this world have faith in me?"

"No, not really."

This time it was his turn to dodge as Kenji reached down and splashed seawater at him. He scurried backwards in time to avoid the brunt of it, but some still got on his shoes. The glare reappeared on his face.

"Sir, please stay still," Kenji called out, reaching down for more water.

"Like hell I will!"

* * *

A few days later, Fllay was working through the defence with Mr Brown and Lacus again when the phone rang. Lacus immediately excused herself to attend to it, while Fllay tried her best to answer the lawyer's questions politely and securely. Now that they pretty much had their stand, they worked on presentation. First impressions made more of an impact than most people assumed, and though Mr Brown didn't say anything about it, Fllay could tell that her case needed the help of that good first impression.

Kenji twirled a pen about single-handedly while staring out of the window with a bored look on his face. She saw him coming back with Kira the other day and she almost found it hard to believe that they had been glaring at each other when they went out, what with them heckling and laughing like they were good friends. She thought that she would be in for it, but then Kira received a call and had to leave.

Whatever it was, it sure wasn't a matter of life and death. Fllay had intended to catch up with him, apologise for making him worry at the very least and then see him off, but then she saw him standing with Lacus beside the car and her legs decided that she wasn't ready to know how far their relationship had progressed so they chose that moment to backtrack.

Kenji was almost irritating in the days that followed. Almost, because his subdued demeanor was a pleasant change from his whining. He had refused to tell her about what happened on the beach, only that they "got away with it" and that he would not be going anywhere with her in a hurry. Fllay refrained from pressing him for details because she _did_ owe him a great deal, and because even though Sakiya was alive, she was still expected to be in the hospital for months.

Fllay took a moment to sip some water from the glass sitting on the table next to her notes. It was a warm day, as usual, and annoyingly there was enough of a breeze to cover every surface in a light coat of sand, but not nearly enough to counter the heat.

"Miss Fllay, the phone call is for you," Lacus called out.

Curious, Fllay pushed her chair back and reached for the cordless phone. "Hello?"

"Hello, miss. How are you today?"

"Nelia!" Fllay couldn't stifle the genuine smile that spread across her face. This was the first time she heard from her caretaker since she had left her house, and it hit her that she really missed her. "I'm alright, the people here are nice to me and it's fine. What about you?"

She heard Nelia chuckle on the other end of the line. "Same as usual, miss. How I'm doing isn't important, it's how you're doing that everyone cares about. How are you feeling?"

Distinctly Fllay recalled that Nelia – no, Dr Marie – was a psychologist, and there was probably a reason for her to call. "Well, I'm alright, really. You don't have to check up on me."

"Humour a bored woman, won't you, miss?" Dr Marie sighed. "This won't go into any report, I promise."

She hesitates for a moment, biting her lip and glancing around at the other occupants of the room. Mr Brown was deep in conversation with Lacus, and from the looks of it the girl was focused on what she was being told. Kenji had gotten bored of the pen and was currently yelling out of the window, probably at kids. She had a relatively high degree of privacy, all things considered, if she wanted to talk.

"I feel… a little guilty, I guess. Yesterday night I dreamed about that explosion again. And in my dream, I didn't know whether Saki– Lieutenant Mizuno I mean, I didn't know whether she was alive or dead and it was a little scary." Fllay kept her voice lowered, but near the end it began to tremble, and she felt the edge of hysteria draw closer as she recalled the images from her dream.

"Ah," Nelia – Fllay decided that she couldn't think of her as anyone else – sighed again. "I was worried about this. It's hardly your fault, and I'm not just saying it to make you feel better. It's not your fault, even though you may find it hard to believe otherwise."

She couldn't trust her voice to speak, so she nods, even though Nelia couldn't see it. "I know," she said after a pause, and she was pleasantly surprised to find that her voice was stronger than she thought. "I'll be alright." It was about time that she started depending on herself anyway.

"That's good to hear. Now hand the phone to Kenji, will you? That's a dear."

Fllay was surprised, but she got up and walked over to the window, where Kenji had stuck his head out to shout at the kids. She jabbed his side with the phone, and he turned to her with a look that spelled resentment at having his shouting match interrupted. Then he caught side of the phone, and took it without a word.

"Yeah, what?" he said loudly into the phone, causing Lacus to look past Mr Brown at them. Fllay shrugged with a small smile on her face, and returned to her seat, picking up her notes once more. Not that she could concentrate. She didn't want to eavesdrop on Kenji's conversation, but she couldn't help overhearing his half of it.

"Yeah, yeah, you old bat. I get it already. Now go tend to your laundry or it'll be sad." He finally hung up, and noticing Fllay staring at him, he asked "What?"

Fllay looked back down at her notes. "Nothing," she said quietly.

He snorted and tossed the phone onto the table. "Sure, sure."

She still couldn't concentrate, but it was for a different reason now. She found herself envying Kenji for being so capable of talking to Nelia so carelessly, so freely. And not just her either. He talked to Kira so freely, joked around with him as though they were friends before they became superior and subordinate… She wished she could form relationships that easily.

And more than that, she wished that she were a person who others could like.

* * *

**A/N: I'm kind of losing steam with this again… Totally not looking forward to writing the actual trial scene, so this may be put on another hiatus. I'm just not confident enough of writing anything that eloquent now. In fact I'm not too pleased with this chapter, but I find Kira exceedingly hard to write and it feels like everything from the dialogue to the implicit meanings are spiralling out of my control…**

**I'll just stop ranting now. Somehow I can't get back into the flow of the story that I had before my exams and that's that. Thanks to everyone who actually put time into reading this.**


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